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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number ofnew shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number ofnew shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The line graph illustrates the variations in terms of the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of closed and new open
shops
Use synonyms
 in one nation from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 2011, the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened exceeded
that
Correct pronoun usage
those that
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 closed. Notably, the
shops
Use synonyms
 above both witnessed a significant fluctuation over the given periods, and in 2018, the number of
closures
Use synonyms
 surpassed the
openings
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. In 2011, there were roughly 8500
shops
Use synonyms
 opening,
while
Linking Words
 the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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closed ones
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 6400. After 1 year, shop
openings
Use synonyms
 witnessed a significant
descent
Check wording
decline
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,
at
Change preposition
to
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 4000, and the shop
closures
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly to 6000. By 2014, the number of
shops
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 that closed experienced a considerable fluctuation, which climbed over 7000 and
then
Linking Words
 dropped to 6500.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
openings
Use synonyms
 had increased by 2200. In the following 2 years, the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
closures
Use synonyms
 dramatically increased to 5100 after dropping to
the
Correct article usage
a
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bottom
Check wording
low
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 in 2015
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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below
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1000. Meanwhile, the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
openings
Use synonyms
 declined to 4000 in 2015 and
then
Linking Words
 remained stable.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, from 2016 to 2018, both
shops
Use synonyms
 underwent a fluctuation,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
closures
Use synonyms
 (5200) overtook the
openings
Use synonyms
 (3000) in 2018.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, closures, openings with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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