IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number ofnew shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number ofnew shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The graph illustrates changes in the figures for
shop
Use synonyms
 closures and new
shop
Use synonyms
openings
Use synonyms
 over a
seven- year
Use the right word
seven-year
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 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were noticeable variations, and the
number
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
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shop
Use synonyms
 closures
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
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significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 decline and
then
Linking Words
 rose after 2015,
while
Linking Words
 that of
shop
Use synonyms
openings
Use synonyms
 decreased sharply. In general, the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 for the two categories reached
the almost
Correct word order
almost the
show examples
 same level in 2014. In terms of closures, the
number
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 was around 6500 in 2011. The
number
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 rose to just over 7000 in 2013,
while
Linking Words
 it
then
Linking Words
 dropped to
level
Correct article usage
a level
show examples
 similar to that of
openings
Use synonyms
 in 2014, at around 6700. The data showed a noticeable decline to its lowest point of around 700 in 2015, with it jumping dramatically to roughly 5000 one year later and remaining relatively stable over the following two years. Regarding
openings
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, the
number
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 of new shops reached its highest point of 8500 in 2011. The figure declined to 4000 in 2012, and
then
Linking Words
 rose to over 6000 in 2014. It dropped to 4000 in 2015, with it staying the same until 2017, and falling again to 3000 in the final year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shop, openings, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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