IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attraction. To what extent do yo agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is undeniable the fact that in many countries, some shops or popular
sites
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 raise prices for non-local
people
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.
While
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 some
people
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 think that foreign
visitors
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 should pay more than local
visitors
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 for historical attractions, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes
this
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 view. In my opinion, I agree with the second notion. I do not agree that non-local
visitors
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 should pay more for visiting ancient
sites
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.
To begin
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 with, foreign
visitors
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 already contribute to nourishing the host country's economy.
In other words
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, tourists spend a decent amount on sectors, like food, hotels, and transportation, so enforcing high payments on visiting historical
sites
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 seems a little bit unfair.
In addition
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, historical attraction is supposed to introduce one culture to another.
Therefore
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, raising prices is not the best way to
foster
Verb problem
encourage
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people
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 to know more about others' history.
Such
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 an approach might contribute to the ignorance of others'
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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, which is not a step that countries want to follow. Another point to consider is that
such
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 ancient places are supposed to be educational. It is possible to say that these
sites
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 can teach
people
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 significantly;
consequently
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, they should be affordable to visit
by
Change preposition
with
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 the support of governments. Making tourists pay more for
such
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 places can push them away from learning and exploring, when governments should be the
one
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ones
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 encourage tourists to visit
such
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sites
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. In conclusion,
although
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 locals should be able to explore their historic
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
, making it accessible for
foriegn vistiors
Correct your spelling
foreign visitors
 can lead to several benefits. When letting prices
cheap
Verb problem
be cheap
show examples
, it can encourage
visitors
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 to come and know more about the visited country's culture, tradition, and customs.

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planning
Make one clear plan and show it in the first line.
content
Give more real idea or small facts to back each point.
grammar
Fix spell and form to be clear.
stance
The writer shows a clear view.
organization
Good use of link words to show flow.
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