The graph below shows the rentals and sales (in various type) of one specifc store between 2002 and 2011

The graph below shows the rentals and sales (in various type) of one specifc store between 2002 and 2011
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below shows the rentals and sales (in various type) of one specifc store between 2002 and 2011
The bar diagram illustrates the amount of rentals and
sales
Use synonyms
from 2002 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the rentals and VHS
sales
Use synonyms
have decreased.
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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sales
Use synonyms
of DVD and Blu-ray have increased. The rentals have sharply increased between these years, and from almost 200,000 to approximately one-fourth.
Also
Linking Words
, the VHS
sales
Use synonyms
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
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a noticeable diminishes between 2002 to 2005, and after
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
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has disappeared and was out of trend. Otherside, the DVD
sales
Use synonyms
gained popularity among people, and had an impressive growth;
Also
Linking Words
, it reached its peak in 2007 with over than 200,000
sales
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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after 2007 , we have witnessed of slight decrease in
this
Linking Words
category.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the Blu-ray
sales
Use synonyms
started from 2007, almost close to 5,000 and after passing 4 years in
2011
Punctuation problem
2011,
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reached around 15,000. In summary, the rental trends are losing their place, and DVD
sales
Use synonyms
replace with gradually over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the VHS
sales
Use synonyms
after experiencing a reduce and after 2004 were removed completely .
Finally
Linking Words
, the Blu-ray
sales
Use synonyms
started from 2007, but as we can see, it was not as popular as other categories.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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