IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

any students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Higher education is one of the priorities of every family recently. It can be seen that many
students
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 have a plan to take a trip or acquire work experience a
year
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 after
school
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. What I believe is that a long-term break might decrease their tendency to start
university
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. When
students
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 experience a gap
year
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 between their
school
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 days and
university
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, they become disconnected from the educational environment. In
this
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 period,
due to
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 being far from the competitive world, they might lose their discipline and interest in academic lessons.
Similarly
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, most of the tips might be forgotten during their breaks, and they will not be academically prepared.
Therefore
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, they will become so lazy, and it will take too much time to become ready for their
university
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 entrance exam. Another factor which should not be underestimated is that
students
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 might be compared with their peers and classmates during the
year
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 after high
school
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. Not only can they not enjoy their moments, but they are
also
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 under a lot of pressure from their parents and society.
As a result
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,
due to
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 their poor mental situations, the possibility of their acceptance at universities might decrease.
Moreover
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, working for a
year
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 before starting
university
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 can bring negative effects. Despite the fact that they follow their financial dreams, it can be very addictive for them to accumulate more and more money.
Hence
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, they may become overwhelmed by the adult world.
Consequently
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, they will stay in their jobs to meet their financial needs, and they will disconnect from the educational atmosphere completely.
In addition
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 to
this
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, when
students
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 spend their time in long-term travel, they might forget all their childhood dreams. They don’t have enough motivation to help them to be hardworking and keep learning. Sometimes, they become familiar with harmful substances like cigarettes and other drugs in their recreational activities, which create bad habits for them.
Thus
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, we cannot have any expectations to follow their education. Some people admit that
students
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 need longer rests after their high
school
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 to become successful because they think
students
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 spent most of their time on study during
school
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 days, and graduation from schools will be provided an opportunity for them to improve their moods, but there are a lot of records which have displayed that
students
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 often get higher ranks and be accepted by the universities when they prepare for
university
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 exams immediately. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some situations to distract
students
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’ attention during the
year
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 after graduation from
school
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, continuing to study after
school
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 helps them to pursue their dreams instantly. I suggest considering a short break after
school
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 can improve their moods.

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clarity
Make your position clear in the first paragraph and keep it steady through the essay.
organization
State one main idea per paragraph and add a plan to show how it proves your view.
examples
Add a real example or detail to back up your point about gaps, work, or travel.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas relate, like 'however', 'also', 'therefore'.
grammar
Check grammar: make sure the verb agrees with the subject and use tense correctly.
purpose
The essay deals with a real topic and shows a clear aim.
balance
It tries to look at both sides of the idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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