IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some believe that installing CCTVs in high crime areas will help to reduce crime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that installing
CCTVs
Use synonyms
 can reduce crime. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages of
this
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 opinion. There are a lot of
CCTVs
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 us safer
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
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 can invade our privacy at the same time.
Firstly
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, there are two advantages of installing
CCTV
Use synonyms
. It can protect us from several threats or crimes. If
people
Use synonyms
 know they are being watched, they may not want to break the law.
For instance
Linking Words
, thieves or robbers might stop their actions when they see a camera.
In addition
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,
CCTV
Use synonyms
 recordings are useful for the police. They can find some suspects by checking
CCTV
Use synonyms
 footage.
This
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 makes it easier to solve cases and catch criminals.
However
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, there are
also
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 some problems with
CCTV
Use synonyms
.
First,
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cameras cannot stop every crime. Some criminals wear masks or find places without cameras.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it is difficult to keep our privacy safe.
For example
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, there are some issues where
people
Use synonyms
's private lives were exposed by
CCTVs
Use synonyms
. For these reasons,
people
Use synonyms
 are very worried about installing
CCTVs
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, I think the advantage of
CCTV
Use synonyms
 is reducing some crimes
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while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 the disadvantage is violating our personal privacy.

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content
Add more ideas and details about both sides to show a fuller view and add more examples.
organization
Use a clear plan: opening line, 2 body parts, and a short ending.
language
Use more linking words to show how ideas go with each other and to show contrast.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence form to fix mistakes.
content
Clear view and balance; the essay states a view and gives both sides.
cohesion
Good use of 'Firstly', 'However', and 'Therefore' to connect ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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