Some people believe that education success mostly depends on teachers. Others however say that it depends more on the attitude of student and their willingness to study. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that excellent academic performance mainly depends on the efforts of teachers,
while
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others believe it is determined by
students
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’ mindset and motivation.
Although
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educators play a crucial role in shaping successful educational outcomes, I believe that
students
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themselves hold greater responsibility for their achievements. On the one hand, teachers are indispensable in guiding learners towards academic success. They are responsible for delivering the prescribed curriculum set by educational authorities and ensuring that learning objectives are met. Beyond classroom teaching, many educators go the extra mile by reviewing assignments, providing detailed feedback, and offering additional lessons to help
students
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strengthen their understanding.
Such
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dedication undoubtedly supports learners in achieving higher grades and building confidence in their academic abilities.
On the other hand
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,
students
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’ own effort and determination are far more decisive in achieving outstanding results. Academic excellence requires a proactive attitude, strong motivation, and a willingness to engage with learning materials beyond what is taught in class.
For instance
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, research has shown that
students
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who demonstrate consistent interest and enthusiasm in their studies tend to achieve a deeper understanding of subject matter, which in turn leads to higher grades and stronger long-term outcomes. Ultimately, without self-discipline and perseverance, even the best teaching efforts may not yield success. In conclusion,
while
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teachers provide essential guidance and support, the primary responsibility for excellent academic performance rests with
students
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. Their mindset, motivation, and commitment to learning are the key factors that determine whether they excel in their studies.

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development
Add one more real example to back up your point.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas fit together.
structure
Keep your view clear in every part and in the end.
structure
Intro and end show your view clearly.
coherence
The essay uses ‘on the one hand’ and ‘on the other hand’ well to show both sides.
organization
Flow from idea to idea is easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational success
  • teacher quality
  • learning environment
  • student motivation
  • academic performance
  • teacher-student relationship
  • mentor
  • role model
  • disciplined
  • willingness to learn
  • home environment
  • socio-economic status
  • community support
  • collaborative approach
  • optimal outcomes
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