IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development, however others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

In any discussion of economic
development
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 and living standards, it is important to acknowledge the coexistence of both benefits and drawbacks.
While
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 the improvement of material conditions and
globalization
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globalisation
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 dividends highlight its positive contributions, the dissolution of cultural traditions and ecological costs raise legitimate concerns that must not be ignored.
However
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, when weighed against each other, it becomes clear that the advantages of economic
development
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 far outweigh its disadvantages. Admittedly, there are notable drawbacks associated with economic
development
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. One significant concern is that it often results in cultural tradition dissolution, which can hinder the preservation of local identities and lead to rural culture decline.
Furthermore
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, the ecological environment cost presents additional challenges by causing a carbon footprint surge, raising questions about its long-term sustainability and broader implications. These factors underscore the necessity of addressing these downsides carefully when evaluating economic
development
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 in its entirety.
Nevertheless
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, the benefits of economic
development
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 cannot be overlooked. First and foremost, material condition improvement plays a pivotal role in increasing healthcare accessibility, leading to tangible improvements in people’s quality of life and national well-being.
Additionally
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,
globalization
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globalisation
show examples
 dividends
further
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 strengthen
this
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 argument by
emphasizing
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emphasising
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 international trade facilitation, which demonstrates its capacity to drive meaningful and lasting change. Collectively, these advantages underscore the transformative potential of economic
development
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 as a valuable initiative. In conclusion,
while
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 the drawbacks of economic
development
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 are worthy of attention, the advantages it offers far outweigh these concerns. By addressing material and global advancement,
this
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 approach holds the promise of delivering substantial benefits to societies around the world in the long run.

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task response
Make your main point clear from the start and keep it through the essay. Add more exact facts or real examples to back your view.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas well. Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph and use linking words to guide the reader.
language use
Keep sentences short and simple. Avoid long, hard phrases so the ideas are easy to follow.
position
A clear view that the benefits of development outweigh drawbacks.
coherence
Good paragraph structure and use of signposts.
content
Balanced mention of both sides with supportive ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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