in some coutries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. to what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is undeniable that excessive consumption of fast
food
is associated with various
health
problems, and in some regions, the number of populations confronted with those
issues
is rising.
This
is the reason why many
people
suggest that it is crucial for authorities to raise a tax rate on
this
kind of diet. I personally agree with
this
viewpoint for many reasons, as described in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, higher taxes on fast
food
can lead individuals to deter their
food
choices and eat healthier alternatives. By increasing the price of fast
food
,
people
may be more careful to consider healthier options that offer more nutrition.
This
can have a positive impact on their
overall
well-being, reducing the risk of
health
-related
issues
such
as obesity, heart disease, and cancer.
Additionally
,
this
can help individuals maintain their productivity and avoid any problems caused by fast
food
-related ailments.
Furthermore
, higher taxes on fast
food
can generate additional income that can be utilized to benefit the public in numerous ways.
This
extra money can be used towards healthcare facilities, ensuring that citizens have access to quality medical services. Education programmes can be provided to raise awareness regarding
health
issues
.
Moreover
, the fund can be allocated for expanding the number of public parks, offering more active spaces for the
people
, promote the healthier and
overall
well-being of society. In conclusion, the imposition of higher taxes on fast
food
is a necessary and beneficial step to address the
health
problems associated with overeating. It not only encourages
people
to consume healthier
food
but
also
provides funding to improve public facilities. By that, the governments can support creating a healthier society and reducing
health
issues
related to fast
food
consumption.
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coherence cohesion
Continue to use a clear structure for your essays, with well-defined introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions. This helps in making your point of view comprehensible for the reader.
language use
Try to include a wider range of vocabulary and syntactical structures to enhance the complexity and richness of your writing.
task response
Consider exploring counter-arguments to provide a more balanced view. This can enrich your essay by showing your ability to understand different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displayed a strong, logical structure, guiding the reader through your argumentation smoothly.
task achievement
Your response was fully relevant to the prompt, addressing the health problems associated with fast food and the proposed tax measure effectively.
task achievement
You provided several specific examples and reasons to support your point of view, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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