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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows percentages of people choosing different ways to reduce greenhouse gases in four countries in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows percentages of people choosing different ways to reduce greenhouse gases in four countries in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of people who chose different approaches to reduce greenhouse gases in Portugal,
Poland
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,
Estonia
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, and
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Holland
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the Netherlands
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 in 2005. The methods were government regulation,
life style
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lifestyle
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, advanced technology, and others.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Portugal recorded the highest percentage in government regulations,
while
Linking Words
Poland
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 preferred to choose
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
Holland
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 and
Estonia
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 had a higher proportion
in
Change preposition
of
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 advanced technology than the others. Looking at the graph closely, one can see that about 40% Portugal people chose government regulations, followed by
Poland
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 at about 28% and
Estonia
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 and
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Holland
Check wording
the Netherlands
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 around 15%. For
life style
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lifestyle
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, there was a significant gap between Portugal,
Poland
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at
Punctuation problem
, at
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 30% and
Estonia
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,
Holland
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at
Punctuation problem
, at
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 10%. In terms of advanced technology, Portugal and
Holland
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 had higher proportions at 30%,
while
Linking Words
Estonia
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 and
Poland
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 reported relatively lower
concentration
Fix the agreement mistake
concentrations
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 at 20% and 10% respectively. Regarding the category of “others”, all countries did not show much difference, ranging between 15% to 25%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words poland, estonia, holland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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