Some people say it is government's responsibility to transport children to school, while others believe parents should transport their children to school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that transporting
children
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to
school
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is the duty of the
government
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, and others think
parents
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should be responsible for it.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I firmly believe that for
parents
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to take their
children
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to
school
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is more appropriate. On the one hand, in many people's views, the
government
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transporting
children
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to
school
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brings lots of benefits.
Firstly
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, the
government
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controls the public transportation system, so
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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can arrange the way all
children
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go to
school
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. Because of
this
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,
children
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going to
school
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will be more efficient and convenient.
Secondly
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,
parents
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don’t need to take their
children
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to
school
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so that they can save their time and money.
For instance
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, if the way that
parents
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go to work and
children
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go to
school
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were completely different,
parents
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would
require
Verb problem
need
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to spend lots of additional time
to take
Wrong verb form
taking
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their kids to
school
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. It wastes time and money, which
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
on transportation energy.
On the other hand
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, some people think there are some reasons that
parents
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should transport their
children
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to
school
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.
To begin
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with,
parents
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understand their
children
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’s needs and habits
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
they can arrange for them to go to
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school
Correct article usage
a school
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more suited to their situation,
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while
Correct word choice
which
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can improve
children
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’s educational effectiveness.
Besides
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, letting the
government
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take responsibility
to transport
Change preposition
for transporting
show examples
children
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to
school
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will take too much money. It spends too much
citizen’s
Check wording
citizens’
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tax to establish
this
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system, and it could cause citizens’ dissatisfaction.
Therefore
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, I completely agree
transporting
Correct word choice
that transporting
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children
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to
school
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is a parent's duty. In conclusion,
while
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the
government
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responsible for transporting
children
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to
school
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is efficient and convenient, it seems to me that
parents
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should take their kids to
school
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. It is a
suited
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suitable
show examples
and acceptable way in
this
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issue.

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Task development
Add more simple proof for each point, such as brief daily scenes or clear facts, to back up your view.
Coherence
Link ideas with simple joining words and make the flow from one idea to the next a bit smoother.
Content
The view is clear and the writer states a position.
Structure
The essay uses a clear two-part plan (two sides) and a final answer.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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