IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is sometimes suggested that primary school children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

For starters, the question asks if
kids
Use synonyms
 should have
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 to
optain
Correct your spelling
obtain
 pets and farms of their own in their educational systems
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I disagree with
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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 act, as it could lead to creatures having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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treatment that they don't deserve
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can
effect
Use the right word
affect
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 the children and be more of an issue, and
this
Linking Words
apply
Correct subject-verb agreement
applies
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 the vegetables too. All though teaching
kids
Use synonyms
 how to be more of an aware person and owning things to care for, has it's advanages,
for instance
Linking Words
, building new hobbies, learning new things like farming, and being more of a responsible man, carying all of
this
Linking Words
 in the wrong age can be devastating and break the back of those infants, like in Saudi in the year 1990,
while
Linking Words
 saudi was crowding 15 year old
kids
Use synonyms
 to fight with them aganist Iraq, they learned a lot of things and crafts,
such
Linking Words
 as farming and being more knowledgeable about animals which benift them in the long run, but effected the childhood they had, the responsiblity at a young age made them used of some acts from their peers. But sometimes some children, have been tought by the fathers, how to handle the assignments or chores, given by the parants before enrolling the kid to school, which can make those topics more intresting, either in school, or at home, and maybe build from these little habbits, a man who can build nations all togather,
for example
Linking Words
: the infant from china who was the smartest kid of all time, he learned math and various topics that are only given in college, by the age of 9, these kind of
kids
Use synonyms
, are the only ones a think deserve
this
Linking Words
 type of teaching. For the
counclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to state what we discussed,
first,
Linking Words
why
i
Fix capitalization
I
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dissagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement, second
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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 will get the most
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 from these 2
metrials
Correct your spelling
materials
,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 to apply them properly, by the family
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
 teaching them gradually before school.

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structure
State a clear view at the start and keep it to the end.
structure
Make one idea per paragraph and link them with simple joins like and, but, so.
content
Use only true and clear examples; avoid wrong facts.
language
Use short, plain sentences; fix big errors in spell and word use.
structure
End with a short restate of your view.
content
The writer shows a view and tries to use examples.
structure
There is a plan to the essay with some form of end.
content
Some point is tied to the question and a reason is given.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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