IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows information about the kinds of food that teenagers in Australia enjoyed eating. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows information about the kinds of food that teenagers in Australia enjoyed eating. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the findings about the types of food which adolescents in
Australis
Use the right word
Australia
show examples
preference
Replace the word
prefer
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were dramatic
increased
Replace the word
increases
show examples
 in both
hamburgers
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburger
show examples
 and
pizza
Use synonyms
 levels over the period.
By contrasting
Change preposition
In contrast
show examples
, the average number of people who prefer to have
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 decreased sharply throughout the century. The percentage of people in Australia who enjoy having
pizza
Use synonyms
 and hamburgers stood at under 20
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 in 1975
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they rose significantly to peak at around 100
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 in 1995 before remaining stable in the final century. In 1975, the average
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
 teenagers who
love
Wrong verb form
loved
show examples
 consuming
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 started at 100 per
year
Use synonyms
before
Punctuation problem
, before
show examples
 there was a slight went to almost 80 between 1980 and 1985.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, between 1985 and 2000,
trending
Wrong verb form
the trend
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 dropped
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rapidly
almost
Punctuation problem
, almost
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 tripling approximately 40
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
. In comparison with
pizza
Use synonyms
,
hamburger’s
Check wording
hamburgers
show examples
, and
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
, the total number of
times
Use synonyms
 eaten per
year
Use synonyms
 was higher than
hamburgers
Change preposition
for hamburgers
show examples
 and
pizza
Use synonyms
 from 1975 to 1985.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words pizza, fish, chips, times, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • preference
  • frequency
  • trend
  • popularity
  • notably
  • anomaly
  • dominant
  • contrast
  • exhibit
  • proportion
  • category
  • significant
  • rate
  • margin
  • predominant
  • marginally
  • substantial
  • consistent
  • overall
  • variety
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