Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would be benefit both the individual teenagers and society as awhole. Do you agree or disagree?

I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
idea, because teenagers should not
work
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at all, or if they
Use synonyms
work
Punctuation problem
work,
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they have to be paid.
Require
Wrong verb form
Requiring
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adolescence
Replace the word
adolescents
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to do unpaid
work
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is not good, and the reason is that every human who
Use synonyms
work spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
works spends
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a lot of time and
energy
Punctuation problem
energy,
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Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is why everyone must have at least a small amount of money
tobe
Use the right word
to be
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motivated to do something regularly. Teens are
energized
Change the spelling
energised
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, and of course they would like to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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their time with friends, family or
in
Change preposition
on
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social media. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
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if teenagers
would
Wrong verb form
worked
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work
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without
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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, it would be bad for both the teens and society. Disadvantage for youngsters is that they would
fell
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feel
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themselves unmotivated and less
energized
Change the spelling
energised
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. Because of
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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they would not make their
work
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clear and properly
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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if they
would have
Wrong verb form
had
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wages.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
Unfortunately,
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it is
big
Correct article usage
a big
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minus for
community
Correct article usage
the community
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. In sum up, every employee,
does not matter if
Verb problem
whether
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it is a child, teenager or adult.
Every one
Use the right word
Everyone
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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to
work
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with stimulus. They should get at least something in return, it can be money,
certificate
Correct article usage
a certificate
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or even coffee.

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structure
Start with a clear view in one short sentence. Then give two main reasons. End with a short line that restates your view.
coherence
Link ideas better. Use small words like also, but, and, for example to guide the reader through the text.
development
Add one or two concrete reasons that fit the topic and explain them a bit more. Do not repeat the same idea.
grammar
Fix small grammar and spelling mistakes. Use simple, correct forms and make sure verbs agree.
task response
The writer shows a clear view that agrees or disagrees with the idea.
coherence
The essay talks about money and time as a reason, which is on topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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