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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, schools have started teaching students about criminal laws and the consequences of breaking them. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is increasingly common for schools in some countries to teach students about the criminal laws and the results of disobeying them. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 trend should be considered positive, because it can prevent people from committing crimes and
teaches
Correct subject-verb agreement
teach
show examples
 the younger population to respect the authorities. Education about the
law
Use synonyms
 and how it is enforced offers numerous benefits to the government, one of which is the prevention of offences. To be more exact, as students are taught about the consequences of criminal acts, they will make decisions which does not lead them to disobey the
law
Use synonyms
 in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many teenagers are involved in criminal acts not because of intention but ignorance.
Correct word choice
If Were
show examples
Were they
Correct word order
they were
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 to learn what is right and wrong, misbehaviour
such
Linking Words
 as vandalism and bullying would be prevented in school. A case in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
point is Canada, where public awareness about criminalism was increased through education programs in 1991, thereby resulting in a considerable decline in crime rates in the following year.
Similarly
Linking Words
, education can assist in building responsible citizens. Learning laws encourages moral and civic responsibilities, which the vast majority of teenagers lack. During the learning process, learners understand the necessity of laws and for which their enforcement is of paramount importance.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will grow up respecting the government and acknowledging their responsibilities. On the occasion of police investigations, judgments and inspections, they will be more likely to understand the situation and act in accordance with the
law
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, teaching students about the results and the importance of
law
Use synonyms
 at schools should be seen as positive, seeing as not only can it reduce the felony rates, but it can
also
Linking Words
 help people to be more responsible and understand the enforcement processes.

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task response
Your view is clear, but open with a stronger line that states your stance. Add a short, direct summary at the end.
coherence
Link ideas with clear steps. Use simple words like first, next, also, but, however to show how points fit.
coherence
Some links between ideas are not easy. Make sure each idea supports the reason for your view.
lexical
Use plain words. Some phrases feel off. 'criminalism' and 'on the occasion of police investigations' are not common in English.
grammar
Fix mistakes in grammar and form. Use correct verb forms and simpler phrases.
strength
You show a clear view that teaching about law is good.
strength
You give a real example to back your point.
structure
Intro and conclusion show you know how to frame an essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • law
  • crime
  • consequence
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • rules
  • safety
  • safe
  • learn
  • understand
  • life
  • future
  • good
  • bad
  • help
  • harm
  • respect
  • rights
  • duty
  • decision
  • choice
  • action
  • society
  • government
  • policy
  • citizen
  • problem
  • solution
  • example
  • discussion
  • story
  • classroom
  • age
  • role
  • plan
What to do next:
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