The government should spend more money on promoting a healthy lifestyle than on treating illnesses. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that the authority's finances should be spent on promoting a fitness lifestyle rather than on preventing diseases. I agree with
this
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view ;
however
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, other factors should
also
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be considered and taken into account. Undoubtedly, the government's budget should be distributed in a balanced manner. Since each individual deserves the same amount of care regardless of age and living conditions.
For instance
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, if authorities treat illnesses in a balanced approach, the rate of death may decline.
As a result
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, it would be beneficial for individuals who have a sickness
as well as
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for the government. Without caring about people with diseases, most elderly communities will die , as after 65 , almost every person faces illness.
Therefore
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, it is crucial to balance the finances of those sectors. Another particular approach can be paying more attention to residents' growth conditions.
Such
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as, by offering more healthier lifestyle, the authority may avoid people facing illnesses.
For example
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, to avoid diseases
such
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as diabetes mellitus, they can introduce new health-improving events or reduce the amount of sugar and harmful substances in foods.
Consequently
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, residents may become more fit and nearly to 65 years they may protect against sickness. Without spending the budget on promoting a strength lifestyle, they will have to care about residents with health problems in the future.
Thus
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, creating fitness conditions is the optimal way to reduce the risk of disease. To summarise what has been stated so far,
while
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it is important to take care of people who have faced sicknesses, I strongly believe that taking more attention to the future of the individual and giving them more opportunities to have a fitness life is the optimal way.

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task
Be clear with your main view. State a strong position at the start and keep to it in all paragraphs.
task
Give two to three clear ideas and support them with simple facts or examples.
structure
Use a simple plan: intro with view, 2 body para with one main idea each, and a short conclusion.
language
Check your language to avoid big grammar mistakes. Use short, clear sentences.
idea
The writer shows a view that money could go to living healthily.
language
Use of linking words to show cause and effect (For instance, Therefore).
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