IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

more and more people are relying on the private car as their means of transportation. Describe some of the problems oreliance on cars can cause, and suggest at leats 1 possible solution.

As
people
Use synonyms
 prefer using
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual cars
show examples
car
Use synonyms
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 transportation,
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 and
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are choosing public transportation, leading to
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in society
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay will explore
in addition
Linking Words
 to their possible solutions.
popularity
Correct article usage
The popularity
show examples
 of private
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 among citizens has
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
 to many problems. Foremost among these is
some
Correct word choice
that some
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual cars
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 are harmful to
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, which
provide
Verb problem
produces
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dust and
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 that could lead to global warming.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be
disadvantaged
Replace the word
disadvantageous
show examples
 to
citizens
Check wording
citizens'
show examples
 physical
healt
Correct your spelling
health
.
In addition
Linking Words
, because fewer
people
Use synonyms
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 a
plubictransportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
may
Verb problem
will
show examples
 be no longer
no
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 need and
will
Correct pronoun usage
it will
show examples
 be gone
im
Correct your spelling
in
 the
futher
Correct your spelling
future
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because of
this
Linking Words
reason
Punctuation problem
reason,
show examples
 it could lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 financial because if
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 public
transportation
Punctuation problem
transportation,
show examples
 the government will
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 income from
this
Linking Words
 part.
However
Linking Words
, there are clear solutions for private
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, should governments and countries want to follow them.
To begin
Linking Words
, an
enforce
Wrong verb form
enforced
show examples
 law
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 using electric
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 should be
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 and
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in these modern days because it
not
Verb problem
does not
show examples
 provide any
polutions
Correct your spelling
pollution
, so it
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 harmful to the environment either. Another reason is that the government could
focused
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
 on improving
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 facilities
instead
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, developing
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
spot
Check wording
space
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 park, they could add new functions that
need to subscribe
Replace the word
require subscription
show examples
 memberships, so they could find a new target from
this
Linking Words
 part. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 of problems
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 from private
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 are
apparents
Correct your spelling
apparent
, these are problems with clear solutions, should governments want to try them. In my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, if
people
Use synonyms
 continue to
private
Verb problem
use private
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. The repercussions on
spciety
Correct your spelling
society
 are going to be
long- lasting
Use the right word
long-lasting
show examples
 and disastrous.

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task
Explain the problems and the solutions a lot clearer, with two or three real ideas.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use words like also, but, for example to show how ideas go together.
language
Use simple, correct sentences. Check spelling and grammar.
structure
Intro and conclusion are there.
content
Some ideas show how cars can affect life.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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