IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009.

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009.
The pie charts
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the production of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in two European countries in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, all types of electric
power
Use synonyms
mostly
Verb problem
are mostly
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 made up
from
Change preposition
of
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 Conventional Thermal
energy
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in
France
Use synonyms
, Nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
mostly
Verb problem
is mostly
show examples
 used to generate
electricity
Use synonyms
. In both nations, Renewables accounted for a
little
Correct word choice
small
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 percentage of the
produced
Correct word order
electricity produced
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electricity
Use synonyms
. In
Germany
Use synonyms
,
total
Correct article usage
a total
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560
Change preposition
of 560
show examples
 billion kWh
created
Verb problem
was created
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 for
energy
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
, 59.6 per cent of the creation
contains
Verb problem
comes from
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 Conventional Thermal
Power
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
nevertheless
Linking Words
, Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 forms 23% and renewables
constitutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
constitute
show examples
 17.4%of the summarized
energy
Use synonyms
 level.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
France
Use synonyms
,
sum
Correct article usage
the sum
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 of all the
elecrtic
Correct your spelling
electricity
initiated
Verb problem
generated
show examples
 510 billion kWh, which contained 76% Nuclear, 10.3% Conventional Thermal, and 13,7% Renewables. In both nations, Solar is the least used
power
Use synonyms
 to generate
electricity
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
nonetheless
Linking Words
, in
France
Use synonyms
, 80.5%
electric
Replace the word
electricity
show examples
produced
Verb problem
is produced
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 from Hydroelectric, but in
Use synonyms
Germany
Add a comma
Germany,
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 the figure is 17.7%. In
Use synonyms
Germany
Punctuation problem
Germany,
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 wind and Biomass were used to create 36.9 % and 39.3% of the
power
Use synonyms
, in
Use synonyms
France
Punctuation problem
France,
show examples
 the
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 10,5% and 8.1%
Linking Words
accordingly
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, power, energy, germany, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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