IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the sales of children’s books, adult fiction and educational books between 2002 and 2006 in one country.

The graph below shows the sales of children’s books, adult fiction and educational books between 2002 and 2006 in one country.
The line graph provides information about the expenditures of Children's
books
Use synonyms
,
Adult
Use synonyms
fiction
Use synonyms
, and Educational
books
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 five years from 2002 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, Children's
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 grew in
recent
Correct article usage
the recent
show examples
 5 years,
whereas
Linking Words
Adult
Use synonyms
fiction
Use synonyms
 declined significantly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Educational
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
 expenditure fluctuated
along
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
period
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2002,
Children
Use the right word
Children's
show examples
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
 revenue was approximately 33
Million
Fix capitalization
million
show examples
 dollars and continued to grow to almost 10 million in the next year by exceeding
Adult
Use synonyms
fiction
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
. It increased slightly to almost 45 million in 2005, and surged to 56
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
. Educational
books
Use synonyms
 had the fewest revenue in the initial year by less than 28
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 and grew to 32
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in 2003.
However
Linking Words
, it dropped
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost 5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in 2005 and began to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 higher than 32
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 dollars. Generally,
Adult
Use synonyms
fiction
Use synonyms
's
sales
Use synonyms
 fell
troughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the
period
Use synonyms
 from 45
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 to 30
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
 with some fluctuations. In 2004,
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 rose from 38
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 to 40
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 and continued to
dropped
Wrong verb form
drop
show examples
along
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
period
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, adult, fiction, sales, period, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: