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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
The table illustrates how many
people
Use synonyms
 visit Ashdown
museum
Use synonyms
 before and after a
year
Use synonyms
 it was refurbished,
while
Linking Words
 pie charts give information about the satisfaction rate who
visit
Replace the word
visitors
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
 during the same periods.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest figure was observed for the
year
Use synonyms
 after refurbishment. In terms of
visitor's
Check wording
visitors'
show examples
 satisfaction, most
people
Use synonyms
 were satisfied
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 visit after restoration.
According to
Linking Words
 the table chart, 74,000
people
Use synonyms
 went to the Ashdown
museum
Use synonyms
 during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 before renovation. The number of visitors accounted for 92,000 before the
museum
Use synonyms
 was restored. Turning to the pie charts,
according to
Linking Words
 the results of the survey for a
year
Use synonyms
 before refurbishment, 40% of visitors were dissatisfied, 15% were very satisfied, 30% were satisfied, 10% were very dissatisfied, and 5% of individuals did not respond.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figures for after refurbishment were
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remarkable
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 40% of
people
Use synonyms
 were satisfied, 35% were very satisfied, 5% were very satisfied, 15% were dissatisfied, and 5% of visitors did not respond.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, museum, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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