An increasing number of people are choosing plastic surgery. Why do people choose to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

People
hold distinctive opinions regarding a debate which is linked to having
plastic
surgery
. Some
people
claim that
plastic
surgery
is a positive development,
while
others think that it has negative effects on
people
. In my opinion, both sides have plausible arguments which should not be overlooked. The major reason why some
people
are in favour of
plastic
surgery
is that some individuals require
plastic
surgery
for reconstructive purposes following accidents, surgeries, or congenital issues.
For instance
, in certain cases ,
plastic
surgery
can offer health benefits,
such
as rhinoplasty to improve breathing or breast reduction to alleviate back pain.
Moreover
, thanks to
plastic
surgery
,
people
can enhance their self-esteem and confidence, believing that changing their appearance will improve their quality of life. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light of
this
reality, applications of
plastic
surgery
are beneficial for boosting confidence.
In contrast
to the argument clarified above, there is
also
a significant argument by the opponents who believe that many
people
, especially women, face societal pressure in their lives. In the modern world, the number of
people
using social media is increasing sharply every passing day and they share many posts related to their lives and selfies.
For
this
reason,
people
create a variety of beauty standards and everybody forces themselves to follow these beauty trends.
However
,
due to
plastic
surgery
,
people
can easily forget what they want and why they have
plastic
surgery
.
Furthermore
, the ingredients of the filling are not suitable for everyone's body because of allergic reactions.
According to
the news, the number of women who suffer from allergic reactions rose drastically from 6.543 in 2014 to 9.432 in 2014.
To sum up
, having elucidated both perspectives, I think it can be concluded that ignoring the vital points claimed by any of the two sides above would result in undesirable circumstances.
Submitted by sevdetekin17 on

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task achievement
Expand the introduction to provide a clearer context for the discussion. This will help set the stage for your subsequent arguments.
task achievement
Discuss the drawbacks of plastic surgery in more detail, with additional specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and ideas to create a smoother flow in the essay.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of plastic surgery.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are organized logically, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to support your points, particularly in discussing the health benefits of plastic surgery.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aesthetic enhancement
  • body dysmorphia
  • reconstructive surgery
  • cosmetic procedure
  • societal beauty standards
  • self-perception
  • media influence
  • psychological impact
  • confidence boost
  • surgical intervention
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