IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
parents
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 ought to teach their
children
Use synonyms
 how to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
memebers
Correct your spelling
members
 of society. Others argue that
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should be responsible for teaching
this
Linking Words
 to the
children
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. I believe that
parents
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 should take a primary role
to guide
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in guiding
show examples
 their
children
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on
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in
show examples
disciplines
Fix the agreement mistake
discipline
show examples
. Some
people
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 deem that
Use synonyms
school
Check wording
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should educate students to be good citizens in the future. One of the reasons is that students spend
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of their days in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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 to learn. Students can learn how to behave through interactions with their peers ,so they can constantly practise and
Linking Words
also
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apply
show examples
their behaviour
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also
Verb problem
is also
show examples
 monitored by the teacher in the
school
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 setting. The second reason is that
parents
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 may be busy with their work,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 do not have enough time to teach their
children
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.
However
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, some
people
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 think that
parents
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 are the primary
care giver
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caregiver
show examples
 to their
children
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, so they should be in charge of teaching their
children
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. For
children
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,
parents
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 are the most significant
people
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 in their
life
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lives
show examples
,
parenting
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and parenting
show examples
 heavily impacts
on
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apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's development.
Children
Use synonyms
 tend to ape their
parents
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' behaviour from very early stages, which means
children
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 learn how to
bahave
Correct your spelling
behave
 properly in domestic and public
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
 from their
parents
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, in order to raise a good citizen,
parents
Use synonyms
 should take major responsibilities.

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content
Give a clear plan at the start. Say both view and your own view in the end.
content
Add more facts or clear examples to back each idea.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph and a short conclusion.
language
Fix errors in spelling and grammar, like 'memebers' and 'bahave'.
content
The essay shows a clear view that parents should guide children.
structure
It tries to discuss both sides of the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
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