Some people believe that modern technology,such as the internet and smartphones,creates more problems than it solves.To what extent do you adree or disadree with this opinion?

Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that modern

technology

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such

Linking Words

as the internet and smartphones, creates more

problems

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than it solves. In

this

Linking Words

case, I strongly believe that these inventions have created more

problems

Use synonyms

than they have solved, and it is a little bit dangerous to others.

Firstly

Linking Words

,modern

technology

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causes serious mental and social issues. A lot of

people

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, especially teenagers, spend too much time on their smartphones and social media, which becomes an addiction. They stop communicating with their close friends

Use synonyms

face to

Use the right word

face-to-face

show examples

face

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and lose the connection between reality and the internet.

Thus

Linking Words

, they feel depressed and lonely.

For instance

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, many young

people

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prefer online communication,

such

Linking Words

as using many types of applications,

instead

Linking Words

of meeting their friends in real life. Even though it is more comfortable and time-saving, meeting friends

face

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face

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is a lot better.

Secondly

Linking Words

technology

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negatively affects our health and education. Students lose their concentration

during

Change preposition

while

show examples

studying

due to

Linking Words

the internet and smartphones.

Instead

Linking Words

of studying, they want to watch social media and play video games.

As a result

Linking Words

, their academic performances, grades, and motivations become worse and worse.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

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sit in front of a computer or mobile for long

times

Check wording

periods

show examples

every day, which causes eye

problems

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, back pain, and poor sleep. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

technology

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has made some things easier, I think it brings more

problems

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and harm than good,

such

Linking Words

as health and mental issues. It ruins

people

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's relationships;

therefore

Linking Words

, they become cold.

zeidabdinzhanel

Oct 9, 2025

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Task Response

Your view is clear and you give reasons why technology can be a problem. To improve, add a short plan in the intro, and show a small idea of a balance or a different view.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a simple order and uses words to show steps (First, Second, In conclusion). To be better, make one main idea in each paragraph, use link words to join ideas, and check spaces after commas. Also fix small grammar mistakes.

Task Response

Clear start and end with a view stated.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good use of order words like First and Second to show steps.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

240 words

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Some people believe that modern technology,such as the internet and smartphones,creates more problems than it solves.To what extent do you adree or disadree with this opinion?

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