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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individuals crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's world, the
crime
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 rate has become a major problem for all countries. There is an ongoing debate about whether
punishments
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 should be fixed for each type of
crime
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,
while
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 others believe that they should depend on the
circumstances
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.
However
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, I believe that
this
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 approach is not fair, because every
crime
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 has different
circumstances
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 and motivations that must be considered before deciding the punishment.
To begin
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 with, some
people
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 argue that fixed
punishments
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 are necessary because they make the justice system more
organized
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organised
show examples
 and fair. They believe that when each
crime
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 has a specific penalty, it prevents bias and saves time during trials.
However
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,
this
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 approach ignores the fact that not all
crimes
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 are committed with the same intention or under the same
circumstances
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.
For instance
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, there are many pickpockets on the streets, and they sometimes tend to attack
people
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 to steal their belongings. During
such
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 situations,
people
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 try to protect themselves and act in self-defence. In
this
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 process, they might accidentally harm the other person, and in
such
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 cases, I believe that strict
punishments
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 should not be applied.
However
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, all over the world, there must be strict
punishments
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 for serious
crimes
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such
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 as violence, femicide, animal cruelty, and child abuse, because these actions should never be accepted anywhere in the world.
As a result
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, strict
punishments
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 for serious
crimes
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 can discourage
people
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 from committing them and eventually help to reduce the
overall
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crime
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 rate. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 argue that having fixed penalties makes the justice system more organised, I believe that every
crime
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 should be judged individually. Each
crime
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 should be evaluated
according to
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 its
circumstances
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 and motivation.
Nevertheless
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, serious
crimes
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such
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 as femicide, child abuse, and violence must always result in strict penalties to protect society and ensure justice.

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task response
Plan before you write. State your view in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph and link ideas with simple words like and, but, so, for example.
task response
Give more balance to both views before giving your own clear opinion.
grammar style
Use simple grammar and short sentences. Check your punctuation so ideas do not run on.
grammar style
Break long sentences into two parts to help the reader.
content
You show your view clearly.
content
You give examples like self-defence and big crimes.
organization
The essay is easy to read and follow.
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