Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while other people believe they don't. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

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Without any doubt, society is divided into two groups as per the distinct mindset of different individuals in the current scenario.
Therefore
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, it has become a debatable issue whether professional sports players play a vital part in the lives of youngsters or not.
This
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essay will not only shed light on both perceptions, but
also
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my point of view will be elaborated in a sensible conclusion. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its favour. First of all, following these athletes, the young population are encouraged to do the same activity. To exemplify, a new generation can evolve in various positive activities with the assistance of their performance models and achieve higher success in
further
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.
For example
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, the vast majority of individuals follow Milkha Singh as their role model and they are achieving high success. Moving towards the second argument of
this
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debate. The first point of
this
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is that bodies have to struggle with various health issues when they follow them as their role models
such
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as stress, anxiety, and depression.
Secondly
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, following their favorite person sometimes they do not show any interest in their study which is not good for their career development.
As a result
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, they lost their interest in completing their aims. To recapitulate,
according to
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my perspective professional athletes play an integral role in the life of youngsters.
Although
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, nations may vary in their opinion.
However
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, it is believed that the ideology of success can be reached if folk will embrace both ways of living in society.

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task achievement
Make sure that each main point is clearly elaborated with more examples and details to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs, possibly using more linking words and phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Consider revising sentences for clarity and conciseness; some sentences may be overly complex or slightly unclear.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the intention of the essay, which is a strong point.
task achievement
Your opinion is stated in the conclusion, which is a good practice for expressing your viewpoint clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Role model
  • Professional athlete
  • Positive influence
  • Work ethic
  • Charitable activities
  • Endorsement
  • Overcoming adversity
  • Misconduct
  • Overemphasis
  • Physical success
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • High-pressure
  • Media spotlight
  • Perceptions
  • Behavior
  • Inspiring
  • Diverse role models
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