It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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When
children
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make mistakes nowadays, some parents punish them to correct their behaviour.
However
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, it is sometimes argued that punishments will harm
children
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and
therefore
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should not be encouraged. I believe
punishment
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can have both positive and detrimental effects on
children
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. On the upside,
punishment
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does help correct
children
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’s behaviour. In most cases,
children
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do not realize they have made a mistake, and if parents or teachers cannot correct them in a memorable way, they might repeat the mistake and harm others' interests.
Consequently
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, both physical and mental punishments can make
children
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remember that certain actions are incorrect, making them less likely to repeat the same mistake. On the downside, punishing
children
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harshly could have negative influences on their future lives.
Firstly
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,
punishment
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may result in a loss of self-confidence. Young adolescents who have been punished may hesitate to act
due to
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fear of
further
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punishment
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.
Moreover
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, they may become inhibited and self-conscious in social situations, avoiding potential mistakes.
Additionally
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, ongoing
punishment
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can lead to anxiety, as
children
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may constantly question whether they have done something wrong.
Furthermore
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,
children
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subjected to physical
punishment
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at a young age might develop violent tendencies.
For example
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, a boy who was physically punished by his father might believe that violence is the only way to solve problems and become aggressive toward others. In my opinion, if
punishment
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is necessary, the best approach is to assign extra homework or housework to
children
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.
This
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method ensures
children
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remember their
wrong doings
Correct your spelling
wrongdoings
show examples
and face consequences without causing physical or mental harm.
Additionally
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, it can reduce the household workload for parents. In conclusion, punishing
children
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can be both beneficial and harmful, but harsh punishments can lead to negative consequences.
Therefore
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, it is wise to think twice before punishing them.
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coherence cohesion
Work on strengthening your introduction and conclusion by emphasizing the main points more clearly. This will solidify the essay's overall structure.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized, moving smoothly from one point to the next, which helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
You provide balanced views by discussing both positive and negative aspects of punishment, which shows a nuanced understanding of the topic.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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