It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

When
children
make mistakes nowadays, some parents punish them to correct their behaviour.
However
, it is sometimes argued that punishments will harm
children
and
therefore
should not be encouraged. I believe
punishment
can have both positive and detrimental effects on
children
. On the upside,
punishment
does help correct
children
’s behaviour. In most cases,
children
do not realize they have made a mistake, and if parents or teachers cannot correct them in a memorable way, they might repeat the mistake and harm others' interests.
Consequently
, both physical and mental punishments can make
children
remember that certain actions are incorrect, making them less likely to repeat the same mistake. On the downside, punishing
children
harshly could have negative influences on their future lives.
Firstly
,
punishment
may result in a loss of self-confidence. Young adolescents who have been punished may hesitate to act
due to
fear of
further
punishment
.
Moreover
, they may become inhibited and self-conscious in social situations, avoiding potential mistakes.
Additionally
, ongoing
punishment
can lead to anxiety, as
children
may constantly question whether they have done something wrong.
Furthermore
,
children
subjected to physical
punishment
at a young age might develop violent tendencies.
For example
, a boy who was physically punished by his father might believe that violence is the only way to solve problems and become aggressive toward others. In my opinion, if
punishment
is necessary, the best approach is to assign extra homework or housework to
children
.
This
method ensures
children
remember their
wrong doings
Correct your spelling
wrongdoings
show examples
and face consequences without causing physical or mental harm.
Additionally
, it can reduce the household workload for parents. In conclusion, punishing
children
can be both beneficial and harmful, but harsh punishments can lead to negative consequences.
Therefore
, it is wise to think twice before punishing them.
Submitted by 18310971390 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on strengthening your introduction and conclusion by emphasizing the main points more clearly. This will solidify the essay's overall structure.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized, moving smoothly from one point to the next, which helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
You provide balanced views by discussing both positive and negative aspects of punishment, which shows a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: