IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it didn't work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the manager in your letter. Describe the problem with the equipment. Explain what happened when you called the shop. say what you would like the manger to do

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Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to talk about a purchase I recently made from your shop that was a gas stove
last
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 month in March, am having problems with the heating as my gas is induction with Four plates and included oven whenever I turn it on after a few minutes heating didn't work properly plates. Sometimes oven even reaches the set temperature it will come certainly down from 180 C.
Moreover
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, I have contacted the store a few times through phone calls as well and I try to call the head office but whenever I get in touch the only response I get We will get back to you within 24 hours but I never get any response.
Apart from
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this
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, I would appreciate your assistance in resolving
this
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 issue, as
this
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 is a major part of daily life . Please respond urgently, hopefully, it will resolved quickly. Your's Sincerely, Shivani

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of your letter. You might say, 'I am writing to express my concerns regarding a faulty gas stove I purchased.'
coherence cohesion
Try to use clearer paragraphing to separate different ideas. For instance, describe the problem in one paragraph and your actions in another.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the letter's engagement and clarity.
task achievement
You clearly explained the issue with the equipment, providing specific details about the problems you experienced.
task achievement
Your polite tone throughout the letter is commendable and appropriate for a formal complaint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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