IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

With advancing technology, the development of automated vehicles is becoming reality. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of self-driving vehicles?

In today's
modernized
Change the spelling
modernised
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 world, innovation and improvement in technology lead to attachment in vehicle
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
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, as
automatic
Replace the word
automatically
show examples
 driven
cars
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay
attempt
Correct subject-verb agreement
attempts
show examples
 to shed light on why I think demerits
outhweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 merits. On the one hand, technological advancement affected all industrial areas, not only
vehicle
Correct article usage
the vehicle
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 factory,
food
Correct article usage
the food
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 industry, chemical industry as well.
However
Linking Words
, improvements in car
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 with automatically driven
vehicles
Use synonyms
,
for
Change preposition
to
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 mitigate crashes and death rates.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
programs
such
Linking Words
 as
AI
Correct article usage
an AI
show examples
 assistant and guiding to
location
Correct article usage
a location
show examples
added
Verb problem
have been added
show examples
 to
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 types of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 to
serving
Wrong verb form
serve
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Tesla manufactured and sold automated
vehicles
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 now
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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cars
Use synonyms
used
Verb problem
are used
show examples
 as a taxi by all residents for
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 convenience and reliability.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, self-driving transportation devices encouraged
people
Use synonyms
 to be more dependent on them and be less active
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a daily basis.
Secondly
Linking Words
, software errors could
be happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
on
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the driving process and venture
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the air
pullution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 can
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 with them, as they are energy powered and eco-friendly, charging
vehicles
Use synonyms
continiously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 and
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 battery can be
exausting
Correct your spelling
exhausting
.
According to
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Bahcheshehir university
Correct your spelling
Bahcesehir University
 in Turkey,
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 showed that
people
Use synonyms
 who
owned
Wrong verb form
own
show examples
 self-driven devices
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
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 from obesity and
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle nowadays. In conclusion, it might seem logical to use
self- driving
Use the right word
self-driving
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 to reduce car crashes and death percentage
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I personally think that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of technological
cars
Use synonyms
outhweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
, as they are less reliable and
forcing
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to be inactive in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life.

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overall
Plan your essay with a short plan. State your view at once, then back it with reasons and a simple example, and end with a short wrap up.
task response
Make your view clear in the first part of the essay and keep it through.
coherence
Use simple link words to show cause and effect, like 'so', 'because', 'but', and 'also'.
examples
Use easy to read examples. A real maker or a simple fact can help.
content
You show you have a view and you look at both sides.
example
You use a real name of a maker (Tesla).
strength
You mention safety and new tech, which are good ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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