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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the amount of money given to developing countries by five organisations from 2008 to 2011. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount of money given to developing countries by five organisations from 2008 to 2011. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The bar chart illustrates the total of
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 that are given to developing countries, with 5 organisations from 2008 to 2011.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , from the
top
Add a comma
top,
show examples
 we spent money in institution 2, where the lowest amount of money was given, approximately 1.3 in 2008, and in 2011 was the highest donation that given to developing nations are approximately
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 2.7. Second position is organisation 3, the amount donated from 2008 to 2011 are equally the same, where the lowest nearly 1.5 and the highest is roughly 1.7
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. Next are organisations 5. when the year 2008 is the outstanding amount of donations where about 1.7
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, but in the next year , until 2011, the number of donations kept decreasing. In the Fourth position are association one, the average of the grants is above 0.5
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, organisations 4, having
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 2008 is the highest endowment , where approximately 0.7 , and from 2009 to 2011, the average is below 0.6

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • amount of money
  • developing countries
  • organisations
  • from 2008 to 2011
  • given to
  • funding
  • analyze
  • examine
  • discuss
  • evaluate
  • explore
  • highlight
  • summarize
  • trends
  • data
  • chart
  • purpose
  • overview
  • key findings
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