IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in 2010

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in 2010
The presented pie charts illustrate the percentage breakdowns of 5 household expenses, namely housing, transport, food, health care, other goods and services, in the year
of
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apply
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2010. What is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most striking when observing the table is that
Japan
Use synonyms
 spent the largest proportion of their income on other goods and services,
while
Linking Words
Malaysia
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superior
Verb problem
is superior
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 in
accommodation
Correct article usage
the accommodation
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 sector.
However
Linking Words
, citizens of both countries
dispense
Verb problem
spend
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 less money on health care.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, Japanese people allocated most of
average
Correct pronoun usage
their average
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 income to other
goods&services
Correct your spelling
goods and services
, which accounted for 29 %, followed by
Malaysia
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, which
expends
Verb problem
spends
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 26 % of
annual
Correct pronoun usage
its annual
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 revenue. Yearly payment of Malaysian residents dispensed for housing,
equaled
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equalled
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 to 34%, whilst
Japan
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 paid relatively less money on accommodation
just
Punctuation problem
, just
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 above 20%.
Malaysia
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 leads the way in terms of food spending, with 27%, a bit higher than
Japan
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 ,
consisting
Wrong verb form
which consists of
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 24% of general
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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. Observing the details, residents in
Japan
Use synonyms
 use one-fifth
percent
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apply
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of their
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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 for transportation in a year, compared to
Malaysia
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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comprise
Correct subject-verb agreement
comprises
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to
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apply
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one-tenth. Medicine was the least preferred category
inboth
Correct your spelling
in both
 regions,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 6% and 3%,
respectivel
Correct your spelling
respectively

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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