IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

- With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

There is no denying that the global demand for
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 keeps rising. Some argue that, in order to answer the need, unexplored
areas
Use synonyms
 of the world should be
open
Wrong verb form
opened up
show examples
 to ensure more
resources
Use synonyms
. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 position. Some can argue that
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 are necessary for the quotidian in today’s society. After all, they
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 a variety of different needs.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 point of view, learning that undiscovered places with more
resources
Use synonyms
 exist,
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 exploration would make perfect sense.
However
Linking Words
, should the mere existence of more
areas
Use synonyms
 to exploit be the reason why we occupy them? In a period where the news
focus
Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
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 so much on how we only have one earth and how we are draining it by constantly and gradually using more and more of its
resources
Use synonyms
, being green should be a priority.
Oil
Use synonyms
 and
Gas
Use synonyms
 are not the only
resources
Use synonyms
 available. There are ecological options that could be chosen and that would improve the quality of life of both the environment and the population. Fossil fuels don’t improve landscapes and air quality
,
Punctuation problem
;
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on the contrary
Linking Words
, they destroy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some people highlight the costs that could be brought with the change to greener alternatives. If all around the world everyone is used to specific appliances, changing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 completely would be nearly impossible. The demand for
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 shouldn’t completely stop
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 these fossil fuels are going to continue existing whether it’s wanted or not. I believe they should continue being used
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 only
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
 that are already being explored. Accessing new
areas
Use synonyms
 would just improve the demand. The truth is, it’s not because a new supply form is found that the demands will
stabilize
Change the spelling
stabilise
show examples
. Having more means would only translate into a higher need.
This
Linking Words
 cycle is
never ending
Verb problem
never-ending
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it never stops. That’s why a stop must put
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 brake on it before it dries the earth of its natural gifts.

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task response
Be clear on your view from the start.
coherence
Give 1 or 2 main reasons for your view and stay with them.
coherence
Use a short intro and a short conclusion that sum up your idea.
language
Check verb form and keep grammar simple so sentences are easy to read.
task response
You show a clear view against opening new oil areas.
coherence
You use connect words like However and Nevertheless to link ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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