IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Financial education should be mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do ou agree or disagree with this statement ?

Finance should be included in
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the following example will be provided in order to support my point of view. One of the most important reasons why financial
education
Use synonyms
 should be
tough
Use the right word
taught
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
 is that pupils are the best age for learning,
which
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 financial problem is
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 issue in the modern world, since many populations are bankrupt
due to
Linking Words
 the lower financial
skill
Check wording
apply
show examples
management
.
Check wording
skills.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the latest research conducted by Bangkok University, it was revealed that 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of students who have learned
money
Use synonyms
 management before tend to protect
themseleve
Correct your spelling
themselves
 from economic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 example shows that financial
education
Use synonyms
 plays a major role in preventing
bankrupt
Replace the word
bankruptcy
show examples
. Another reason to support
this
Linking Words
 fact
that
Verb problem
is that
show examples
 financial
education
Use synonyms
 may make
people
Use synonyms
 understand investment
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 can avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because when
people
Use synonyms
 do not have
money
Use synonyms
 knowledge, they will only save
money
Use synonyms
 in the bank
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to decreasing
money
Use synonyms
 valuation because in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, the
inflation
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 around 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 per year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the profits from the bank are approximately 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 saving
money
Use synonyms
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 have less
money
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation
Use synonyms
. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, in recent news, it has been reported that the populations who have been tough
Use synonyms
money
Change preposition
on money
show examples
 management are likely to
richer
Verb problem
be richer
show examples
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
than the other groups.
This
Linking Words
 case demonstrates that
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 must include financial
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 in the curriculum because students will understand how investment is significant. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that financial
education
Use synonyms
 should be
mandatory
Correct article usage
a mandatory
show examples
 component of the
school
Use synonyms
 program because pupils are the best age that can understand anything
easy
Replace the word
easily
show examples
,
which
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 financial problem is
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 issue in the modern world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 financial
education
Use synonyms
 can
make
Verb problem
help
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your answer. Start with a short line that says you agree. Then write two or three ideas in their own paragraph. End with a short conclusion.
coherence
Make ideas easy to read. Use words like because, also, and so to link ideas.
content
Use real, simple examples. If you use a stat, be sure it is true or say it is from a source you know.
language
Check the spelling and grammar. Read aloud to hear tired or wrong parts.
content
Clear stance on the topic
structure
Use of paragraphing to show ideas
content
Effort to give reasons and examples
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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