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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary era, we have witnessed that many
governments
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 have tried to develop their
countries
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 more than before. A lot of them believe that economic growth is an essential factor for building a developed country,
while
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 some
people
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 think about other aspects of development. They have
this
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 point of view that authorities should consider all of them equally. What I believe is that our improvements require attempts in all purposes, and I am going to elaborate on
this
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 in the following. On the one hand, the
governments
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 have improved the economic system a lot recently. They believed that when they have a better economic position in the world, they can boost their power among all
countries
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.
Similarly
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, they can become the biggest producer in the world.
Therefore
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, all other
countries
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 depend on their strength to import or export their products.
Furthermore
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, their residents can get so many benefits. They can earn more money and purchase more than before. Their basic needs are met easily,
such
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 as accommodation, food, and health.
In addition
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, the
governments
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 can provide more security for their residents by making military equipment.
On the other hand
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, there have been several elements for developing
countries
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.
Besides
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 economic progress, officials have to pay enough attention to other important factors like education, the health care system, tradition, and culture. These aspects are crucial for improving the quality of
people
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's lives.
For example
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, by enhancing the healthcare infrastructure,
people
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 will not have any concerns about their diseases. The government’s budget can provide better conditions, and scientists can afford to be more innovative in detecting new vaccines, which are preventative.
Consequently
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,
people
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 will have a longer longevity.
Moreover
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, by modifying the education system, not only does the level of
people
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's literacy rise, but students can
also
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 get higher education.
As a result
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,
countries
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 can foster students’ talent in different fields. In conclusion,
although
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 economic progress improved social welfare, investing in other infrastructures is really vital. I recommend that the
governments
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 invest in all valuable systems which enhance
people
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's lives.

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coherence
Try to show more clear link from one idea to the next with simple words like also, but, and to make the flow better.
task response
In the body, use one main point per paragraph and add a short example to show each idea.
structure
In the intro and end, state your view clear. Say what you think in one line and restate in the end.
content
You give both sides and your own view, so the task is met.
structure
Your writing has a clear start and end, with paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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