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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
The
liner
Replace the word
line
show examples
 graph illustrates the percentage of the population in four Asian countries,
Rephrase
namely they
show examples
they
Use the right word
the
show examples
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Philippines
Use synonyms
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and Indonesia they are living in cities from 1970 to 2020.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 there are predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, all of the countries shown
Verb problem
have increase
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
. The highest is
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, even
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 at the beginning was lower
Linking Words
Change preposition
than then
show examples
then
Use the right word
the
show examples
Philippines
Use synonyms
, with predictions
Use synonyms
Malaysia
Correct word choice
that Malaysia
show examples
the
Verb problem
would be the
show examples
 highest.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the lowest is
Thailand
Use synonyms
. First of all,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 in 1970 was around %
19
Correct your spelling
19%
while
Linking Words
 the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 was above %30. They counted
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 until 1990,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 was about
%30
Check wording
30%
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 was approximately %48.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the predicted period
Philippines
Use synonyms
 %60 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
above
Verb problem
is above
show examples
 %
40
Correct your spelling
40%
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, all of Indonesia and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 at first were lower than %
31
Correct your spelling
31%
. In
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 shows a
significantly
Replace the word
significant
show examples
 increase
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 Indonesia by 2000 shows a high rise. By the end of the
predicted
Replace the word
prediction
show examples
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 is the highest, more than %80 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Indonesian
Use the right word
Indonesia
show examples
about
Verb problem
is about
show examples
 %
60
Correct your spelling
60%
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, malaysia, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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