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Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2006

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2006
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in America, Japan, and China between 2000 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
visitors
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 in New York and China museums fluctuated, it
finally
Linking Words
 increased
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Tokyo
museum
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 experienced a downward trend in 6 years period. First and foremost, more than 12
million
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visitors
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 attended New York
museum
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 in 2000, and evidently it plummeted almost 50 per cent in 2001.
Although
Linking Words
 in 2002 the
number
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 of attendee remained same, it grew to 7
million
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visitors
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 in the next year, and achieved more than 14
million
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 in 2006.
Secondly
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, Tokyo
museum
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 was the highest
visitors
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 in 2000 and 2001.
Although
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 the
number
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 of
visitors
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 decreased significantly in 2002 and 2003, it recovered by 8
million
Use synonyms
visitors
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 and gained 10
million
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
Lastly
Linking Words
, less than 6
million
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 individuals attended to National
Museum
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 of China in 2000, and
this
Linking Words
 pattern continued for 3 years consecutively.
However
Linking Words
, it surged drastically for almost 16
million
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visitors
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 in 2006 and became the most popular
museum
Use synonyms
 between 3 countries.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, museum, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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