Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some folks believe that competition in daily lives,
such
Linking Words
as at work and during studies, is better than people who rely more on teamwork, and vice versa. It is well known that in some areas of the world, people compete against each other from an early age to gain work opportunities in the future. But regardless, it is occasionally better to be content with supporting each other to go far in life. There is a saying that being a competitive person from childhood will give more career opportunities in the future.
This
Linking Words
is mainly because of the ambition
that is
Linking Words
built from an early age.
For instance
Linking Words
, competing in terms of studying or working from an early age is considered ordinary for citizens in China. There is a common belief that if one studies hard from childhood, one is more likely to reach a more successful career in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Chinese citizens tend to be individualists. Making them face fewer hardships in focusing on their achievements.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, cooperating with each other may result in faster completion of tasks. The reason for
this
Linking Words
is that collaborators could easily split tasks so that each member can only focus on a small
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
of
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
at a time. A recent study in Sweden shows that working together
also
Linking Words
creates a stronger bond among humans. Communicating and collaborating with other peers on a daily basis are most likely to be done by humans, since they are social beings. In conclusion, even though competing against other humans may bring an increase in job chances, it is human nature to collaborate by working
together with
Linking Words
the target of decreasing time usage in doing tasks and in daily lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement
The essay talks about both sides and has a view. To push the score up, give more clear ideas for each side and add more real life examples.
structure
Make blocks of life idea clean. Start with a short intro, then a part for each view, and end with your own view.
cohesion
Use more linking words to join ideas, such as 'also', 'but', 'for example', 'in addition'.
content
You show both sides and give your own view.
content
There are some real world examples.
strength
You make an effort to compare two ways of thought.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: