IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activites. Does this situation have more advantage or more disadvantages?

Nowadays, it is common for employees to be working for longer hours, and they tend to have less free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 for various activities
such
Linking Words
 as reading or exercising. Apparently, almost all firms provide extra benefits or bonuses for workers. When they are paid hourly, they earn more money for every additional hour of their effort.
For example
Linking Words
, staff who work overtime more often struggle with overtime will be more financially stable than those who lack the Intent to put in excessive effort.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, spending more time at the office increases the opportunity to learn new skills and leads to improvement.
For instance
Linking Words
, being in challenging projects motivates employees to get out of their comfort zones and gain experience.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a commitment to putting in additional efforts beyond the standard requirements can often introduce significant drawbacks, most notably manifesting as stress and burnout.
This
Linking Words
 adverse effect stems primarily from a severe imbalance; individuals tend to dedicate the majority of their focus and time to highly demanding tasks, resulting in a critical lack of time reserved for essential restorative pursuits like hobbies and social interactions.
This
Linking Words
 is where the necessity of recuperation becomes evident, as it plays a major, often underestimated, role in maintaining personal mental health and
overall
Linking Words
 well-being. Scientific evidence strongly supports
this
Linking Words
 link;
for instance
Linking Words
, recent research indicates that a notable 30% of office employees reported experiencing anxiety directly attributable to the blurring boundaries of completing their job tasks from home, a phenomenon often linked to an "always-on" work culture. In conclusion, working so much can cause potential physiological and physical risks.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the benefits like financial immobility and knowledgeable information clearly exceed the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Fix big word mistakes and spelling. Use clear and short sentences.
structure
Make one clear view. Then show two or three main ideas with short reason for each.
content
Use real facts or agreed ideas. Do not put wrong ideas, and keep facts simple.
structure
The essay shows both sides and has a final view.
cohesion
It uses some linking words to join ideas.
content
There are examples like overtime and project work.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: