Some people say it is important to keep your home and your work place tidy,ith everything organised and in the corect place.
In all of the houses, there are some reasons that they would make the home dirty,
such
as creating sloopy spaces. Some reasons relevant to babies or dogs are that they need attention
to control them. A group of people believe that it is essential to create a tidy area in the home and workplace. l agree entirely with this
idea, and in this
essay, l will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
, living in a tidy place
gives confidence, and working in this
place
is more efficient. Take the workplace as an example. When you work in an office that is
clean and tidy, you can handle your work better and be encouraged to do your best in this
place
, which causes you to be more efficient. In other words
, when there is nothing that makes you nervous, you can pay more attention
to your task, and it is valuable for companies.
Another reason why I agree with being in a tidy place
is that when you are in this
place
or create this
place
, you can find your instrument easily, and you can find it in less time
. What is more, you save time
because you don't need to spend time
on anything. For example
, if there is any specific place
for the shirt, you should search the whole home, and it makes you upset and it gives you time
and attention
.
On the other hand
, to create this
place
, you need to spend more time
and mood, which some people don't like to do because they claim that life in this
place
is more comfortable and there is no stress to cleaning it.
In conclusion, everyone can choose a place
where they want to live or work there. Some feel better living in a tidy place
, and others disagree with this
idea. Being in a tidy place
is a reason to pay more attention
to yourself instead
of searching for anything. In addition
, the responsible author of this
article is Dr. Mitra Rezaei, who is a member of the scientific faculty of the Nutrition Department of Mashhad University of Medical Sciences.Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. While there is an apparent attempt to organize the essay into paragraphs, transitions between ideas are not always smooth, and the reader may struggle to follow the argument. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly,' 'Another reason,' and 'On the other hand,' could be more effective if followed up by clearer explanations and conclusions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is positive; however, the conclusion especially could be strengthened. It should not only restate the main points but also succinctly synthesize the argument presented throughout the essay. This helps the reader to understand the writer's final stance clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay did provide support for the main points, but it must include more detailed and specific examples to accurately illustrate the arguments. General statements should be accompanied by concrete evidence or examples that are directly related to the thesis of the essay.
task achievement
While you addressed the topic, the response could be more complete by ensuring that all parts of the prompt are fully answered. This includes not only stating an opinion or preference but also fully explaining the reasoning behind that stance, considering counterarguments, and illustrating points with examples or data where appropriate.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates some clear and comprehensive ideas, but at times these ideas are not fully developed. Expanding on the ideas with more depth, and ensuring that each paragraph centers around a single main idea, would help to clarify and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
While you made an attempt to provide relevant examples, like the workplace and clothing organization, these need to be more specific and directly related to the topic to support the argument effectively. Try to use real-life examples, studies, statistics, or personal experiences that directly correlate with the main points being discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.