IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others believe that there are other alternative solutions for reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion on this topic.

In recent years, the issue of
crime
Use synonyms
 and punishment has become a major issue of public debate. Some people believe that imposing longer prison sentences is the most effective way to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that alternative
measures
Use synonyms
 could produce better results. In my opinion, the combined approach would be the best to address the underlying causes of
crime
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. On one hand, supporters of long prison sentences argue that
this
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 punishment
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
 as a strong deterrent. When criminals know that they will face harsh punishments, they may think twice before committing any illegal
crimes
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.
For example
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, strict sentencing laws in some countries have been linked to a decrease in dangerous
crimes
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 like murder or robbery.
Moreover
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, long-term imprisonment ensures that violent offenders are kept away from society, which enhances public safety. In
this
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 sense, longer sentences can be an effective way to control serious
crimes
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.
On the other hand
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, critics claim that extended imprisonment does not address the root causes of
crime
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. Many criminals turn to illegal activities because of poverty, lack of education or unemployment.
Therefore
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, officials should focus on preventive
measures
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such
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 as providing better job options, improving education systems or
rehabilition
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
 programs.
For instance
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, Norway
country
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apply
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emphasizes
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emphasises
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 reintegration and rehabilitation rather than punishment, and
as a result
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,
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 reoffending rates are among the lowest in the world. In conclusion,
although
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 long prison terms may help reduce severe
crimes
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, they are not a long-term solution. The integrated strategy would be strict penalties for dangerous criminals
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 alternative
measures
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as rehabilitation
measures
Use synonyms
 to
discover
Verb problem
address
show examples
 the
main
Correct word choice
underlying
show examples
issue
Check wording
causes
show examples
 of those offences.

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content
Make your main view clear in the opening line and keep it through the essay.
structure
Use a strong topic sentence in each paragraph to show the point.
content
Explain how your example shows the point, not just name it.
language
Check small mistakes in spelling or word form.
content
Tie between ideas is clear with 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
structure
Conclusion states your view.
content
Good link to the question about causes.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • habitual offenders
  • retribution
  • rehabilitation
  • overcrowding
  • recidivism
  • community service
  • restorative justice
  • crime prevention programs
  • youth mentorship
  • neighborhood watch
  • justice system
  • re-offending
  • financial strain
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