There are many zoos around the world now. Some people think zoos are cruel and should be banned. What is your opinion?

Nowawadays
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, there are a lot of places someone may visit to see different
animals
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. To some individuals, keeping
animals
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locked up is
cruelity
Correct your spelling
cruel
and
this
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must be
illigalised
Correct your spelling
illegalised
.
However
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, I think
this
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is a good move as highlighted below.
Firstly
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, zoo camps keep endangered species which are becoming extinct.
This
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means that the next generations will get to see them . They are preserved and protected from danger and thieves who may steal and harm them.
Moreover
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, there are sanctuaries that keep hurt
animals
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and those that are becoming few on Earth.
For instance
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, pangolins and dragon lizards.
Secondly
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, zoos have become learning places for children and adults.
This
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is because they have species from different continents.
For example
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, a zoo in Austria can have elephants and lions from Africa. These are not found in Europe since the weather does not permit
.
Correct pronoun usage
it.
show examples
This
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means that people get an opportunity to see these
animals
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live and not on the internet.
Therefore
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, zoo camps are not cruel, but they preserve and protect some
animals
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, and they are used for educational purposes.
To conclude
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, I think that zoos are not cruel, but must be kept because they save endangered species and
also
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educate humans about the world around them without physically going there.

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language
Spelling and form need fixing: 'nowadays', 'cruelty', 'illegalised' are not correct here.
structure
Make the opening clearer with a direct stance.
cohesion
Connect ideas more smoothly with simple links like 'and', 'also', 'but', 'for example'.
content
Give more precise examples and check facts about animals.
language
Correct phrasing: 'zoo camps' should be 'zoos', and avoid long repeats.
content
The writer shows a real view and keeps to it.
structure
There is a plan: introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
Examples of animals are given to back points.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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