IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#generations #people #life
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People coming from past generations generally have a vision of life
that is
Linking Words
 very old-fashioned, and
this
Linking Words
 could be a bad
influence
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
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 the recent generations that are still learning how the world will work for them in the future. I completely agree with
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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, because it can affect our
way
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 of perceiving events in a negative
way
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, and
secondly
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 because it is not helpful for a person
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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want
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wants
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 to make our world a better place. People
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are too attached to the past
influence
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 younger ones sometimes to see
things
Use synonyms
 negatively. Somebody belonging to the older generation
see
Change the verb form
sees
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things
Use synonyms
 differently than someone more modern, With the given time,
things
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 change and can vary in signification. Despite the negative or positive connotation of an element in the past, that same element can have a significantly different meaning in the present.
Although
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 its meaning changed, an elderly person can still see it as they knew it in the past
,
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apply
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 and
then
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influence
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 young ones to see it the same
way
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, making them less integrated into today’s society.
For example
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, a teenager
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 plans to work in video game development can be seen differently by an elder, and he might convince or
influence
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 the teenager into thinking that
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
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 isn’t reliable or stable for
modern day’s
Add a hyphen
modern-day’s
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 needs. Staying in the past can
also
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 restrain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations
to create
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from creating
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 and
innovate
Wrong verb form
innovating
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as well as
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 being integrated. Always being reattached to the past makes our lives harder in the present, but it can
also
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 prevent us from innovating and making our habits and lives evolve. Innovation is about changing and differing from what we knew previously so
it is clear that
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 staying under the guidance of someone
old, fashioned
Correct your spelling
old-fashioned
 can’t help. We are at a point where events change so fast and life’s quality and conditions vary, often in a positive
way
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. Previous manners of thinking could stop us from accepting change.
For
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example
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example,
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 to illustrate
this
Linking Words
 idea, Mark Zuckerberg wouldn’t have invented Facebook if we were educated in an
old fashioned
Add a hyphen
old-fashioned
show examples
 type of formation. He made a great step into
a
Correct article usage
the
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 next era that made us believe in new
things
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. In conclusion, former types of seeing
things
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 can prevent us from great steps in our lives that could affect our vision of life
as well as
Linking Words
 our
way
Use synonyms
 of living it.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly and use more relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
For coherence, focus on crafting clear connections between your main points and supporting arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, making the argument easy to follow.
task achievement
You successfully introduce the topic and make your stance clear from the beginning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional ideas
  • Modern life
  • Younger generations
  • Stability
  • Guidance
  • Foundation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Rigid gender roles
  • Resistance to new technologies
  • Adaptability
  • Innovative solutions
  • Respecting elders
  • Maintaining family bonds
  • Stifle progress
  • Fusion of ideas
  • Outdated values
What to do next:
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