IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays, every one can hear that ancient generations are too conservative and what young people are supposed to live or act like. I largely concur with
this
Linking Words
 fact that the ideas are not really applicable to the present day life, though some of them can be applied in certain cases.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the ideas of older generations are usually associated with the world that does not exist anymore. To illustrate, they are of the opinion that youth should get married at a tender age or pursue the same career throughout their entire life.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the contemporary world is evolving at a rapid rate and society and technology are evolving, making young people to be flexible. When they adhere to the same regulations like previously, they would be denied numerous opportunities of developing or travelling or learning overseas. As an example, my grandmother continues to believe that working at home is an act of laziness
although
Linking Words
 it has become a norm in most countries.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, not everything
that is
Linking Words
 traditional is bad. Others of them preach respect and discipline that are still relevant in the present day society. As an example, traditional generations were taught to be helpful and to take care of their relatives,
this
Linking Words
 fact could enable the youth to develop better values. In contemporary society, there are a lot of individualistic people and traditional values may serve to counter it.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I think that the majority of traditional concepts are no longer useful as the world has changed significantly. We can
however
Linking Words
 still bring out some good lessons out of them
such
Linking Words
 as respect and hard work as long as we apply them to our time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Be clear on your view in the first line and keep it in every paragraph.
task
Add more clear and specific ideas with short notes to back your view.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show order: first, also, then, finally.
language
Fix grammar and spelling errors so the writing is easy to read.
task
The essay shows a clear view and tries to answer the prompt.
coherence
It has a clear order with three parts and good linking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional ideas
  • Modern life
  • Younger generations
  • Stability
  • Guidance
  • Foundation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Rigid gender roles
  • Resistance to new technologies
  • Adaptability
  • Innovative solutions
  • Respecting elders
  • Maintaining family bonds
  • Stifle progress
  • Fusion of ideas
  • Outdated values
What to do next:
Look at other essays: