IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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It is often heard that older generations tend to hold traditional beliefs about how individuals should live, think, and behave. Some believe these views correspond to modern society. I completely agree with
this
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 statement because
such
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 ideas can limit progress and do not always reflect the realities of contemporary life.
Firstly
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, a traditional view often restricts individual choice and societal development. Older generations may expect young people to follow predefined paths in education or lifestyle, which can prevent them from exploring their true interests and abilities. In today’s world, creativity and productivity are crucial for success, and firm expectations can hold the younger generations back. As an example, a teenager who is under pressure to pursue a stable career rather than one following a passion could perhaps feel unfulfilled and less motivated in the long term.
Secondly
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, many traditional thoughts are outdated and do not match the needs of modern society. Advances in technology ,
along with
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 changes in social values and the globalisation of cultures, have over time transformed how people live but
also
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 work. Ideas that were once relevant could now be impractical or even harmful.
For instance
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, older behaviours towards gender roles may discourage equality and limit opportunities for both men and women in today’s world. In conclusion, I believe that the ideas held by the older cohort are often unhelpful in preparing young people for modern life, as they can restrict and fail to reflect current social and economic realities. In a society like ours , which is progressing every day, the elderly tend to have unrealistic opinions, unaware of the subtle changes.

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task response
Make your main idea more exact in the first part. Say clearly why you agree.
task response
Add one more clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few parts are too general. Explain them a bit more.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but do not use too many spaces or break phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence closer to your main opinion. It now sounds a bit too broad.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
Your two body parts each have one main point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
You use words like Firstly, Secondly, and In conclusion well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional ideas
  • Modern life
  • Younger generations
  • Stability
  • Guidance
  • Foundation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Rigid gender roles
  • Resistance to new technologies
  • Adaptability
  • Innovative solutions
  • Respecting elders
  • Maintaining family bonds
  • Stifle progress
  • Fusion of ideas
  • Outdated values
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