IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, people can work and live in anywhere they choose because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

With the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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communication technology and transport efficiency,
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 have amazing freedom to make a choice about where to live and work.
This
Linking Words
 change
erupted
Verb problem
expanded
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 the boundaries of the cities and
reconstruct
Wrong verb form
reconstructed
show examples
 the social rules. But whether the impact is more beneficial than detrimental remains open to debate in multiple dimensions. From my perspective, flooding freely for the
people
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some obvious benefits.
First,
Linking Words
the company can recruit top talents from
dfferent
Correct your spelling
different
 countries. The
resident
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residents
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 in rural places
also
Linking Words
 have the chance to earn the
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to work in the big firms through the internet.
This
Linking Words
 can alleviate the problems of the equality of continents.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can not only pursue
the
Correct article usage
apply
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career development, but
also
Linking Words
 choose a suitable city to live which can improve
people
Use synonyms
's happiness and satisfaction.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is essential for governments to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cultural communication and technological creativity.
However
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, flooding freely for the
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has some
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 for the society. The most
influencial
Correct your spelling
influential
 aspect is that the feeling of the interpersonal relationship will be decreased.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the aspect of economy, the cities which are not in a high development rate will lack
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
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. A large
amount
Check wording
number
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 of talents will choose in big cities. To
summarize
Change the spelling
summarise
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,
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
 technology and
transpor
Correct your spelling
transport
 efficiency have a positive effect
overweigh
Verb problem
that outweighs
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 the negative effect. When
appearing
Verb problem
facing
show examples
 the bad problems, the government can offer some policies
such
Linking Words
 as
incensive
Use the right word
incentive
show examples
 policy for
people
Use synonyms
 in small
citis
Correct your spelling
cities
 to solve. I think that we will build a more energetic world in the future.

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structure
Plan the work in a short order: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a small ending.
cohesion
Use easy links to join ideas. For example, first, also, but, however.
language
Fix spell and wrong word. Use simple words and short lines.
content
Give a real example for each point so the reader can see it.
content
The idea of many jobs from far is made clear.
structure
The piece shows some balance of good and bad.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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