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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some societies,
children
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 are frequently encouraged to believe that they can accomplish anything if they put in enough
effort
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.
While
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this
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 message can motivate young people to
work
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 hard and develop self-confidence, it can
also
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 lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment. One clear advantage of
this
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 belief is that it fosters determination and perseverance. When
children
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 grow up thinking that
effort
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 leads to success, they are more likely to stay motivated and overcome difficulties.
This
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 attitude helps them build resilience, a key quality for personal and academic growth.
For example
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, a student who believes in hard
work
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 may continue practising a difficult subject until they master it, rather than giving up easily.
Moreover
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,
this
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 mindset can encourage independence and self-belief, making
children
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 more confident in setting and pursuing their own goals.
However
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, there are
also
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 significant drawbacks. The idea that success depends solely on
effort
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 may give
children
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 an unrealistic view of life. In reality, external factors
such
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 as talent, resources, or opportunity often play a major role. When
children
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 fail despite trying their best, they might feel frustrated, guilty, or even see themselves as failures.
For instance
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, a child who dreams of becoming a professional athlete may train hard but still not reach the required level
due to
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 physical limitations.
Such
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 experiences can damage self-esteem and lead to stress or disappointment. In conclusion, telling
children
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 that they can achieve anything through hard
work
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 has both benefits and drawbacks.
While
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 it encourages persistence and confidence, it may
also
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 result in frustration when expectations do not match reality.
Therefore
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, parents and teachers should promote hard
work
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, but at the same time, help
children
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 understand that success
also
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 depends on other factors beyond
effort
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 alone.

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structure
Make the links between ideas even clearer so each point stays in a clean line.
language
Use more basic link words to show the flow of ideas.
content
Add a few more real life examples to back each point.
task response
Clear view in both sides of the topic.
coherence
Intro and conclusion that tell the idea in a simple way.
examples
Good use of examples to show ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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