IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #it’s #friends
Some argue that having friends with the same viewpoint is a better choice because folks feel that they are being supported by their circles.
However
,
this
 essay thinks having buddies who have opposite opinions is way better because they open up wider insights. On the one hand, folks believe that it is precious to have colleagues who have the same thoughts on something because they provide support.
This
 is because, in a group of people, the feeling of having the same wavelength on something draws them to have close friendships. They agree on the same subject and provide support to each other.
Conversely
, when they have different opinions, they may argue and raise a conflict within the group.
This
 can ruin the relationship if they cannot control their emotion and are disrespectful towards others.
For example
, research shows that individuals who are in trouble seek encouragement from people who have the same perspective and are able to understand their feelings.
However
,
this
 essay thinks that hanging out only with the same frequency individuals will limit their opportunity to learn about the vast world.
On the other hand
, having various buddies whose viewpoints are diverse allows someone to understand the viewpoints outside his beliefs.
This
 is because people view something based on their limited knowledge or understanding. If they are exposed to a wider range of opinions, they will have the opportunity to learn from different perspectives.
Therefore
, they become more wise and inclusive.
For instance
, international schools allow students who come from various races which usually have different ways of thinking to interact with each other.
Therefore
, their students show higher tolerance and become more open-minded because they learn in a diverse society.
This
 essay believes that
this
 is a great way to improve their knowledge. In conclusion, even though choosing friends with the same way of thinking provides encouragement to individuals, getting to know others who disagree with them allows them to open up with new perspectives.
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. This might involve using transition words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly between and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly states the topic of the essay and your thesis statement, followed by a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This was done fairly well, but ensure the conclusion encapsulates all the main points covered.
task achievement
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. You've provided an example with reference to international schools, but aim to offer more specific and varied examples to support each viewpoint you discuss.
task achievement
To enhance task response, take time to explore all parts of the prompt in detail. This includes giving balanced attention to both views presented and developing your opinion with clear justifications. While you have presented both sides, make sure to integrate your opinion throughout the essay rather than just at the end.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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