IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think the news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #news #connection #lives #waste #time #newspaper #television #programs
In the modern world, some
people
 argue that
news
 does not connect to
people
's reality,
therefore
, reading the
news
 in the newspaper or watching online on television can waste time. I strongly disagree with the statement that reading the
news
 is a waste of time.
To begin
 with,
news
 plays a virtual role in society, it makes
people
 keep in touch with the incident that happened or reports future disasters through weather forecasts to suggest
people
 live in a safe area.
For example
, Japan releases
news
 on television to warn
people
 in the country about tsunamis that will come in other days to move to a high place.
Furthermore
, nowadays every person can have their own smartphone so it's more convenient to know about
news
 by just searching on Google. The
news
 would be important for
people
 to live easier in
this
 world.
On the other hand
, newspapers could not be environmentally friendly because they use wood to produce them which can lead to more disasters because the number of trees is reduced.
For instance
, the industry of newspaper in China cut the trees around 1 million trees per month.
Additionally
, nowadays the development of technology has reduced the number of newspaper production because
people
 tend to watch some
news
 on the television or their devices.
Last
 but not least,
news
 could connect to
people
's lives and it was more environmentally friendly than before.
To sum up
, I believe that reading the
news
 is not a waste of time,
also
, it can make
people
's lives more effective in
this
 modern world.
Submitted by napatnp18065322 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between your ideas. Sometimes your sentences feel disjointed or unrelated to each other. Use transitional phrases effectively for smoother progression.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and depth of your ideas. Make sure each point is fully developed and well-explained. Expand on your arguments and provide more relevant, detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting and summarizing your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You've made a clear effort to respond to the task, and your stance on the issue is evident throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • informed decisions
  • social issues
  • positive changes
  • weather updates
  • financial news
  • governmental policies
  • democratic participation
  • current affairs
  • local events
  • global events
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