IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below shows a science park in 2008 and the same park today.

The maps below shows a science park in 2008 and the same park today.
The two maps provide key information about the site of a science
park
Use synonyms
 in 2008 and the present time.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the map in 2008, it had few services.
In addition
Linking Words
. It is not divided into specific stations,
whereas
Linking Words
 now it is clearer and has multiple spaces.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in the old
park
Use synonyms
 plan, there were offices and a reception on the north side with woodland, and multiple grasslands lie in the
west-north
Use the right word
west-northwest
show examples
. In the
centre
Use synonyms
, there were business units and a car
park
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the south, there were cybersecurity and IT centres with woodland surrounding the areas regularly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that there was a railway
lying
Verb problem
running
show examples
 east-north. In terms of the current plan for science today, there are many services, beginning with a new building on the west side for research and development. It can be seen that offices remain stable,
while
Linking Words
 reception was replaced by a university hub. In the
centre
Use synonyms
, business units stay in the same place, and the car
park
Use synonyms
 was expanded.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, cybersecurity on the corner expands, but there is an innovation
centre
Use synonyms
 that
replies
Verb problem
responds
show examples
 with an IT
centre
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is apparent that the new map has a station in railway, with a cycle path around the
park
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words park, centre with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: