IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. ​To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries can handle the global problem of refugees, who leave their homes for different reasons
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it is a debated topic.Some believe that a developed nation first focuses on
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 own homes, but I strongly disagree
,
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.
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 I believe that wealthy nations are able to assist refugees in their basic requirements of food and accommodations. The moral reason is that developed nations can protect human rights on a global level.
In addition
Linking Words
, it can provide them with economic support. There are so many organisations for the rights of exile, some higher positioned as leaders.
Moreover
Linking Words
,these leaders provide safety to the
exile
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exiles
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, who left their homes because of the running from wars or disasters. Khosrowshah was an Iranian citizen. He and his family fled during the Iranian Revolution. But now, he has become the ceo of different companies, Uber and Expendia. Looking at moral reasons, there are some practical reasons for the acceptance of the
emigrant
Use the right word
immigrant
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. Some of the
emigrant
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emigrants
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 often have motivational skills and want to learn new skills to work in farming and technology, business, and other industries.If the government can help them in learning a new language and start a new life, in the future, they can bring benefits to countries on a global level.Those refugees who are illiterate can be put in hospitals and the public transport as security guards and labour.A clear example is Sir Ronald, who fled Egypt as a child and later became known as the' father of the British venture capital'.
To sum up
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, I strongly agree that developed nations can help fugitives after proper planning and management. They can protect their rights by following the international laws of human
.
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rights.
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Also
Linking Words
, rich countries can offer them opportunities to fulfil their basic needs of life.

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organization
Plan your essay first. State your view and list the 2-3 good ideas you will use.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas flow, and avoid long, hard sentences.
grammar/lexical
Use plain words and fix small grammar and spelling mistakes in each sentence.
content
Give clear facts or small, real examples that fit your ideas and show how they help your view.
strength
The writer takes a clear view and sticks to it.
content
There are some useful reasons given for both moral and practical sides.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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