Scientists and technlogy experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

In today’s world,
scientists
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and
technology
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experts are often seen as more valuable than
musicians
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and
artists
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. I partly agree with
this
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opinion because science and
technology
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contribute directly to humans’ health, but
art
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and
music
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also
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play an important role in people’s emotional and cultural lives.
This
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essay will argue that both groups play crucial roles in enriching human experience and advancing
society
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. It is understandable that
scientists
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and
technology
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professionals are highly valued. Their work mostly impacts economic growth, innovation, and problem-solving. In the modern era, people pay more attention to those
science
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scientific
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breakthrough that benefits
the
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apply
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society
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in terms of improved standards of living, enhanced communication, and more efficient processes in various sectors.
For example
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, medical researchers develop vaccines that save millions of lives, and engineers create innovations like smartphones and renewable energy systems that make daily life easier and more efficient.
As a result
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,
scientists
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and technologists are often at the forefront of efforts to address these pressing issues, earning them recognition and respect in modern
society
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.
On the other hand
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,
musicians
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and
artists
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are equally important in shaping culture, fostering creativity, promoting emotional well-being and cultural identity.
Art
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and
music
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allow people to express feelings, reduce stress, and connect with others through various
art
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forms
such
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as
music
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, literature, visual arts, or performing arts.
For instance
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, during difficult times, listening to
music
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or visiting
art
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exhibitions can comfort and inspire individuals.
Moreover
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,
artists
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help preserve a nation’s traditions and values through creative expression, which is something
technology
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alone cannot replace.
Therefore
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, even though their work may not bring direct material benefits, their role in enriching
society
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is undeniable.
Although
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scientists
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and
technology
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experts are indeed highly valued for their contributions to innovation and problem-solving, the importance of
musicians
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and
artists
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cannot be overlooked. Both groups bring unique perspectives and skills to
society
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, enriching human experience in different ways. Rather than viewing them as opposite sides,
society
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should recognise their different contributions and strive to foster the diversity of talent and expertise. In conclusion,
while
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scientists
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and
technology
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experts are highly valued for driving innovation and development,
musicians
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and
artists
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are just as essential for emotional well-being and cultural heritage. A balanced
society
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should appreciate both fields equally, as they contribute to human progress in different but equally meaningful ways.

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Development
Add more specific, clear examples to back each point so the reader sees proof of your idea.
Coherence
Use more clear sign posts to show your plan, like 'first', 'second', 'in conclusion'.
Grammar/Vocabulary
Keep sentences short and use common words to avoid long and hard ideas.
Content
Clear view that both groups are needed in society.
Coherence
Good link word use and flow from one idea to next.
Overall
Balanced tone and good paragraph structure.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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