IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. You do NOT need to write any address.

Dear Mr. jefferson
in
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In
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 the
beginning
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beginning,
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i
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I
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 was very impressed by the technological improvements seminar that you will hold in Japan
at the end
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 of the spring. In
fact
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fact,
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i
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I
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work
Wrong verb form
have been working
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 in
this
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 area for 8 years now
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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i
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I
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 would like to keep up with new developments which can be introduced in IT.
Linking Words
for
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For
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this
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 reason,
i
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I
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 would appreciate
if
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it if
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 you could tell me the specific date when
this
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 event will be
hold
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held
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.
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Also
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Also,
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i
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I
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 would be grateful to find out the full program of the seminar, what kind of accommodation will be needed in order to be
nearby
Use the right word
near
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 the place where the meeting will be
hold
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held
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.
Moreover
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, I am interested
to find
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in finding
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 out the total cost to participate
at
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in
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 the event and if there would be additional
ones
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costs
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. As shown above, I am interested
to participate
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in participating
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at
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in
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this
Linking Words
 seminar
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 it would be helpful for my
curent
Correct your spelling
current
 job. your faithfully, Sirbu Diana

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structure
Try to split the text into clear lines. Start with a short note of aim, then ask for details in a simple way.
tone
Use a formal tone most of the time. Capitalize names and the first word. Use 'Dear' with a capital D and end with 'Yours faithfully' or 'Yours sincerely'.
content
Put one idea in each paragraph. If you talk about dates, program, and cost, use 3 short paragraphs.
content
The writer shows a wish to learn about new work.
content
The letter asks for the details that matter (date, program, place, cost).
structure
Polite closing verb is present.
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