IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The vast majority of people who practice any sport think that the main point of training is to strengthen their bodies, believing that only strong muscles will lead them to victory.
Although
Linking Words
this
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 is a popular theory, it is not entirely true because a strong
body
Use synonyms
 is not enough to win; rather, a strong physique combined with a clear mind is essential.
Firstly
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, throughout history, there have been many examples of how a powerful mind is more important than a muscular
body
Use synonyms
. One of the most noticeable examples is Mike Tyson, who fought with all his anger, which gave him the power and motivation to win.
Furthermore
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, people's physical strength is controlled by their mental power.
Nevertheless
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, an athletic physique plays an important role in achieving sporting success. Even though a physically developed
body
Use synonyms
 gives some advantage, the real advantage comes from the mind.
Furthermore
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, a professional weightlifter who set a world record said that without the proper mentality he had built earlier, it would have been impossible to lift
such
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weight
Correct article usage
a weight
show examples
. It is
also
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 important that neither can lead to success on its own. Both the physical and mental parts of the human
body
Use synonyms
 have to be trained at the same time.
This
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 balance is essential for long-term athletic achievement. In conclusion, a trained
body
Use synonyms
 is important for attaining success in sport, but it will never be more important than a properly trained mindset. I partly agree with them because physical strength gives some advantages,
while
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 the main power is in our
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
.

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planning
Plan your essay before writing. State your view in the intro and keep it clear in all parts.
structure
Use one clear idea per paragraph with a small topic sentence to show the point.
content
Give stronger, more varied examples and explain how they show your point.
language
Check grammar and use simple, exact words to avoid misleads.
structure
The writer shows a clear view on the issue in the end.
coherence
The essay uses linking words to show contrast and connect ideas.
structure
An introduction and a conclusion are present.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
What to do next:
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