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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
It is considered by some people that physical strength is crucial for achieving great results in sport,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that nothing is more important than mental strength. I believe that
while
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 physical training is important, mental power is the key element that makes the difference
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end results or
competition
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Daily training or a structured and consistent regime is important in the process of building physical strength that will have to be tested at
Use synonyms
competition
Add an article
a competition
show examples
. There is a popular saying that success is 99
percentage
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per cent
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 work and one percentage talent, and the effort made with dedication and perseverance is important to achieve any desired results.
Body paragraph 2
At the same time, the mental vision
that is
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 held by the person in
competition
Use synonyms
 is, if not equally, even more important for an outstanding win.
From how
Change preposition
How
show examples
 we program our mind depends
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 fruits of our efforts.
For example
Linking Words
, if a person is trained very well but thinks that someone else from the
competition
Use synonyms
 has a better chance to win, because they did in the past
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 they are in a better form or position. They are very likely, if not sure, to be surpassed by their competitor.
Therefore
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, it is very important for the mind to be set to win and to be focused only and
sole
Replace the word
solely
 on their rhythm and performance, being sure that they will win.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 the physical form or training is very important, that alone most of the time will not guarantee success. The distinctive element that will make the difference will be the mental
vison
Correct your spelling
vision
 or focus.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why body strength matters in some sports, such as weightlifting, sprinting, or rugby.
task response
Your main view is clear: the mind can decide the final result. Add one real or clear sport example to show how focus, calm, or belief can help a player win.
task response
Be careful with very broad claims. Instead of saying that the mind is the key in all cases, say that its importance can change with the sport and the situation.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, body strength, mental strength, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first body paragraph more focused on physical strength. The saying about work and talent is useful, but link it more directly to sport results.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and hard to follow. Split them into two or three shorter sentences, especially in the example about a trained person who doubts themselves.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as 'for example', 'however', 'therefore', and 'as a result' can show the link between your ideas more clearly.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain physical strength, mental strength, and your own view.
task response
Your opinion stays clear from the introduction to the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, and the conclusion returns to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
The move from the first view to the second view is clear and natural.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
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