Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many people debate that a powerful, well-conditioned body is the most important
requirment
Correct your spelling
requirement
for victory,
while
Linking Words
others maintain that psychological focus is far more critical. I believe that a strong mindset is a crucial factor for long-term success. On the one hand, physical strength is vital for athletes.
For instance
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, sports like running, football, and weightlifting require speed, agility,
muscular
Correct word choice
and muscular
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power. Without a well-trained body, it is almost impossible for a professional to run fast enough
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
or lift heavy weights to succeed.
Moreover
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, being in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good shape
,
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apply
show examples
protects players from severe injuries
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
or
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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them
get healed
Replace the word
heal
easily.
Therefore
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, it is quite understandable why many people view physical attributes as the primary key to winning.
On the other hand
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, mental strength is what turns a talented individual into a true champion. Professional sports involve incredible stress and pressure. Players need a
strog
Correct your spelling
strong
mind
Use synonyms
to stay calm, focused, and confident when they are losing.
For example
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, a tennis player might lose their first match, but they should stay consistent, and they can still win the game if there
will be
Wrong verb form
is
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more
hard-work
Correct your spelling
hard work
and
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
refuse
of giving
Wrong verb form
to give
show examples
up.
Furthermore
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, regular training requires strict daily discipline, which comes from a healthy
mind
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, physical talent is not enough if a person lacks the power to keep going that comes from their
mind
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. In conclusion, both elements are crucial in an
athlete
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athlete's
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journey.
Although
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a strong body gives
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sportsperson the physical tools, it is the
mind
Use synonyms
that guides them to victory.
As a result
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, I believe that being
mental
Rephrase
mentally
show examples
strong is what brings real success.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your view is clear, but the first side could be a little more full.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and real. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are not fully clear. Make each point easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some are good, but a few sentences feel a bit broken or hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each sentence and each part. This will help your writing feel smoother.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your main position stays the same from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized into clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You used basic linking words like On the one hand, On the other hand, Therefore, and In conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
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