IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show the development of the Paradise island for tourism purposed.

The maps below show the development of the Paradise island for tourism purposed.
The maps below show
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Paradise
Use synonyms
Island
Check wording
Island's
show examples
 Past and Present. The two maps show how Paradise
Island
Use synonyms
 has changed from a place used for scientific research into a busy tourist resort today.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
area
Use synonyms
 has undergone significant
over
Check wording
changes over
show examples
 the period shown
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
nevertheless
Linking Words
 beach, rocks and natural spring remained the same. It is noticeable that the biggest change was the construction of
Scientific
Correct article usage
the Scientific
show examples
 Research Station was removed in its place, a hotel complex and a swimming pool were constructed. The wooded
area
Use synonyms
 was removed and replaced with an open restaurant and a BBQ
area
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Punctuation problem
Furthermore,
show examples
 west of the pier grew in size. The Paradise
Island
Use synonyms
 became more
modernized
Change the spelling
modernised
show examples
 with new facilities and infrastructure. The wooded
area
Use synonyms
 was removed and replaced with an open-air restaurant and a BBQ
area
Use synonyms
. A café has been built on the vacant
area
Use synonyms
 in the east of the
island
Use synonyms
. A café has been built on the vacant
area
Use synonyms
 in the east of the
island
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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